How to cope with a sex-less marriage

[Mumto1boy1girl]

Hi,
I am becoming increasingly frustrated, sexually, and I am finding I can't please myself iykwim.
DH and I have not had sex in years. My fault as I just don't find him sexually attractive. He's a lot older than me. He lives with it and is quite happy to leave it but I'm getting frustrated.
I love him but more like a best buddy or something. I don't want to leave him as I don't want the children messed about.
How can I suppress these feelings?

You cant suppress these feelings because they are natural urges.
Its not just sex but the intimacy that comes to being close with someone.
I suppose an affair or a friend with benefits is out of the question.

How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking, Mumto1boy1girl?

Have you talked to him about it? DH and I discuss this a lot (not quite the same, but a lot of incompatibility over the years). Would he be happy if you had an open marriage?

I'm almost 46

What do you mean by an open marriage? It is very unlikely we will ever have sex again tbh. So, I have no idea what to do.

I think 46 is quite young to feel that you won’t have sex again. As for the open marriage that Tuesdaynightname mentioned, are you able to take a lover for the physical side of things? Would your DH be agreeable if he’s not fulfilling that role?

Your only choices are to put up or look elsewhere (with his knowledge preferably). A reverse FWB might be useful, but you're then wide open to other feelings creeping in - not an easy situation you find yourself in, sorry.

Presumably you used to find him sexually attractive, so when did that fade away?

I don’t think your only choices are to put up with it (frustrating) or look elsewhere (which could wreck what might otherwise be a good relationship), you could try to rekindle your sex life with your DH unless you find him physically repulsive, but you’d both have to put some effort in to make it work. You say he’s happy to leave it, but is he actually unhappy about it, but willing to put up with it for your sake?