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SEX problems causing friction in my relationship

9 replies

unmumsyma · 06/02/2018 11:41

hi all, sorry for long post.. need some other opinions because I'm questioning my sanity,.

My partner whom I ha e been with 8 years and we have 1 child - has an issue with our relationship that I don't even think is bad, SEX he says we never have sex.. we have sex at least once a week! this isn't normal apparently ??!!

He is now saying hes leaving me!!! because I don't make him feel loved and wanted and I'm a miserable bitch...

I suffer with anxiety and I do admit I cant be hard to live with at times but does this just not sound mental to you? or is he right?

when we first had our daughter.. first 2 years we never had sex... and he cheated we worked through everything and things improved and now this has all just come out of nowhere!.. I don't know what to do

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Wherearemymarbles · 06/02/2018 12:18

Every couple is different. Some will say once a week is fine, others would be climbing walls in frustration.

Plenty of threads by men and women saying how undesirable a lack of sex makes them feel.

I’m afraid you have mismatched libido’s and thats not something that is easily solved so maybe your relationship has run its course, not withstanding the fact he cheated which is a dreadful thing to to.

I’d dump him and find someone worthy of you and loves you regardless of sex once a week or not

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itsbetterthanabox · 06/02/2018 13:05

You aren't the problem he is.
He is threatening you in order pressure you into having sex you do not want to have.
What kind of man wants sex with a woman who doesn't want to? Ask yourself that.
Let him leave. You can do much better.

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Mumsymcmumface · 06/02/2018 15:08

What kind of man wants sex with a woman who doesn't want to? Ask yourself that.
Let him leave. You can do much better.


Well, conversely, what sort of woman has a sexual relationship with a man and a child with him, and yet then doesn’t want to share the mutual closeness,bonding and fun that is a healthy sexual relationship.

Same applies woman to man,man to Woman, man to man etc etc , but not feeling wanted by, close to, and desired by your chosen partner is a real downer for many people of both sexes.

Even sex three or four times a week won’t cut it if one partner gets the impression th other could just as happily do without. It’s a very complicated situation and only very rarely aren’t both parties partly to blame for any ill feeling that arises.

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unmumsyma · 06/02/2018 16:33

Mumsymcmumface - I Agree

Its partly his fault because I don't get the emotional support I need it makes me resentful.. he does not see anxiety as a real problem because he's so strait down the line and just tells be to snap out of it so to speak..

Its like a minefield.. feeling unwanted must be horrible but he's just acting like a knob about it!

Dunno what to do!

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TheNaze73 · 06/02/2018 18:37

I think you’ve had a lot to deal with, with the cheating. Do you think this has scarred you or do you think like Marbles says, it’s simple mismatched libido’s?

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NotTheFordType · 06/02/2018 18:55

I'm sorry to say this but I'd be looking for evidence of another affair.

If your having weekly sex and you have you down children, most reasonable blokes would consider that realistic. Yeah they might want it more often but they realize that having DC changes things. (To wit: your energy levels, especially if he's leaving most of the grunt work to you.)

So either he's had his head turned or he's an unreasonable arse. Neither scenario is great for you, I'm sorry.

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NotTheFordType · 06/02/2018 18:56

Bloody hell, phone typos, sorry.

If you're having
You have young children

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Jellyheadbang · 07/02/2018 03:23

I’d struggle to have sex with someone who cheated on me.

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balsamicbarbara · 07/02/2018 22:22

Call his bluff. You can do better. If he can't cope with once a week there is a major problem. That is hardly a compromise.

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