Post baby problems

[FirstTimeMummaB]

So I had DS almost 11 weeks ago. First baby. The birth was pretty traumatic for me, he was an emergency ventouse delivery and I had an episiotomy with lots of stitches. Took a long time to heal physically and mentally if I’m honest.
I feel fine in myself now, and I’m not in pain anymore, but I’m still feeling really apprehensive to have sex 😕
DH has been very supportive and isn’t pushing me at all. We’ve had a bit of foreplay, and I definitely have the desire there, but whenever we get close to doing the deed everything gets a bit uncomfortable and I end up giving up before we’ve even started. I’m also breastfeeding so can’t bare the thought of DH touching my boobs at all 🙈
I’ve heard it can be painful at first, just wondering what I can do to make it all go a bit smoother? Or will it be a case of just getting that first time over with..?

(Please be nice in your replies, I feel a bit cringey for even posting this!) 😳

You’re still very very incredibly early days post birth. Stop pressuring yourself into sex just because you think you should be back in the saddle now.

My DH and I didn’t have sex, including foreplay until our DD was 6 months old. Mentally and physically I just wasn’t ready and I had a very text book pregnancy and delivery (I did have stitches but nothing major). I too breastfed until DD was 9 months old but I did night wean her at 6 months old and this contributed to me wanting to be intimate again.

My advice is to take it easy, you’re still recovering (even if you feel fine) and when you do come to DTD it will be fine. I didn’t hurt the first time but then I gave myself plenty of recovery time.

There's no rush so take your time. I kept a nursing bra on because I leaked a lot and couldn't have my DH touching my boobs.

Don't put pressure on yourself but sometimes if it's the fear that's getting in the way rather than pain or discomfort it might be better to just lube up and get it out the way.
Always feels a bit strange the first few times so don't expect too much.
I found it was uncomfortably tight yet loose feeling at the same time. Very odd. Just go slow, it will get back to normal but not usually straight away.

I had a very 'good' delivery in that I had no episiotomy and needed no stitches after DS. I was walking a couple of miles a few days after his birth. However, I was very apprehensive about sex- so was DH- when the time came where we wanted to do it. We were very careful- took it slowly, lots of lube. It did feel different to me, although he says not to him, and was slightly uncomfortable the first couple of times but after that everything felt pretty normal.
When I had DD I had a similar birth but it took longer to feel ready to be having sex. It was fine when we did it - I think I just knew what to expect having been there before (so to speak).
Don't do it unless you are really ready to and take it slowly. Try not to worry because that will mkae you tense up.

Thanks for all of your replies x
I think in a way it probably is the fear rather than the pain that’s getting in the way. Deffo gonna stock up on the lube before hand then!! 😂😂