Four times a week?!

[user1483390742]

My DH is very highly sexed. We have 3 DC and have been together 14 years. All good, except he expects sex every night or at least alternate nights. Not just straight sex, but using porn or online sexual stories. Obviously on a Tues night at 11pm, this is the last thing i want when i have to get up for work in 7 hours.. AIBU? I can't be arsed..

You poor thing, have you tried the N word?

You sound totally mismatched sexually. It’ll only get worse as you’ll ending up resenting each other for being at opposite ends of the scale.
Set your boundaries, use the no word when it suits you & if he doesn’t like it, let him walk to find someone more compatible

Do you get ay say in this arrangement? What you've described is what HE wants and what he gets. Where is your input?
Are you able to say 'no' or do you feel obliged to perform?
What happens if you tell him that you are too tired or just not in the mood?

Is he not good in bed?

Set some rules 90% to where you would like them to be and 10% towards what he wants. I think it’s reasonable to compromise a little. Men like to know what to expect, even if it isn’t everything they dreamt of.

You sound totally mismatched sexually

No, she’s just not wanting sex every night and is fed up of it.... She just needs to be more open with her DH about her feelings, rather than accepting everything his way, and compromise, like virtually all couples who’ve been together for an extended period. To be totally mismatched they would need to be so different that they couldn’t come to a reasonable compromise (ie one “needed” kinky stuff twice a day and the other couldn’t stomach anything more than some quick vanilla sex on the 1st of each month. )

Thenaze not sure totally mismatched is right

OP what would be the amount of sex that works for you? At the very least could you make a point that if sex is on the cards an early night is needed? I would have to be super up for it to be prepared to kick things off at 11 pm because our DD is often up at 5.30.