DH not attracted to me anymore

[lorribaby]

So back ground is been together 18 years and have a toddler. Generally get on very well and I both do love each other. DH has always used porn and has always had a low sex drive for sex with me apart from in the beginning. Recently find myself very angry with him and jealous because I hate the fact we rarely ever have sex ( four times since dd was born) I feel tortured as the lack of intimacy has become so important. Had an absolute meltdown and demanded to know why he never wants sex and he confessed that he wanted me to lose weight and didn't find me attractive anymore. Also said my lack of confidence was very unattractive.

I had always suspected this and do know I need to lose weight. I have PCOS and also awaiting an op for endometriosis and am in a lot pain so exercise is limited just now.

I just feel devastated and he is saying that we can work at it and try to lose weight together etc but I am heartbroken and humiliated. I don't think you can fix it when someone loses the attraction? Has anyone had any experience of this? Can he become attracted to you again or should I just move on?

I put on a lot of weight during and after pregnancy due to disability. My porn loving husband didn’t want much sex with me when I was slim. When I out on weight he was no different.
I then lost four stone, toned up hugely and he still didn’t want to have sexy times with me. It was soul destroying.
We’re not together anymore and I’ve gone on to have some amazing and fulfilling sex with others.

I am sorry, I am going to disagree with quite a lot of the posters here. I am a man, so this is a male POV. Actually it is just my POV as I may not be a typical guy.

Weight has very little to do with attractiveness. Confidence does, so OP perhaps work on your confidence. If men are just interested in you being skinny then they are shallow. Personality is what real men are attracted to.

My partner is a larger lady, she was a size 12 when we met, she is now a size 18 and I am attracted to her as much now as when we met. You don't need to loose weight, you need to gain confidence and believe in yourself. If he is just interested in what your body looks like, then he is not a man you should be with.

If men are just interested in you being skinny then they are shallow. Personality is what real men are attracted to

I'm a 'real man', whatever that is supposed to mean, and I couldn't disagree more. There is nothing shallow about a sub-conscious attraction towards slim women. It is a biological drive.

Sorry OP but I think it is nothing whatsoever to do with your weight, he knows he is inadequate himself and it's a typical man thing to blame the partner.
If you lose weight he will still be inadequate. I'm old enough to have figured this one out.