Our sex life is crap!!

[hattiesmumm]

Oh my god.
I honestly don’t know how much longer I can cope. Been together 4 years. Dp hasn’t had much experience. Lost his virginity a year before he met me. Sex seems to be a chore now. He’s so
Paranoid about his body/penis that he’s not
Comfortable to try out new things etc.
Can’t remember the last time he let me give him
Oral, let alone when he gave me it! It’s so boring 🙈. It’s even got to the point he’s given up
Half way through and doesn’t want to carry on!!

He’s 100% not cheating, I trust him a million %.

If I giggle during sex at something I do or try and make it fun he says I’m making it awkward.

I don’t know what to do anymore. Iv never dressed up for him as he wouldn’t appreciate, I used to love dressing up and feeling sexy.
He’s making me have no confidence at all. Out
Of the bedroom we have no issues, we laugh and hardly ever argue, and I have the perfect life.

I don’t know what to do!!

How have you managed to last this long? Has it always been this disappointing? I'd be inclined to suggest he visits his GP or seeks counselling.

Are you trying to do all this stone cold sober?

Sometimes, if we are going through a 'dry' patch, the odd drink helps us feel less foolish / embarrassed, and just get on with things.

Once confidence has returned, we can go ahead without the prop of a drink.

You are going to have to make a choice Op,

A) a life with him with the understanding that he just is not a sexual person.

B) you split up and find someone who is sexually compatible with you.

At one time I might have said there's more important things that should work in a relationship but right now I'd say, leave. Get someone who matches you.

I can understand his comment about giggling being off putting during intimacy.

I hear you! My DH is the same and I have spent many years deprived of a full sex life. I know I am missing out as I had been with others before him and he doesn't match up to any of them. We even had to have IUI to conceive our 2nd child and I'm sure it's because he is so crap at sex. No foreplay - nothing. He is 10 years older than me and I am suddenly realising what I've done.
I do have the offer of a FWB and I am soooo tempted.

4 years is a long time to spend with someone that you seem to have been sexually incompatible with since day 1. I wouldn't waste any more time.

Awhat does he say when you talk to him OP.?