(Lack of) sex during pregnancy. Ideas for other (related!) activities?

[user1484167681]

Had a discussion last night with DH who has been avoiding intimacy; I'm 28 weeks pregnant and had sadly assumed I was just becoming unattractive to him :( He said he's just not interested sexually in pregnant women, which is fair enough- I don't judge what people find arousing. But we've got a weekend away coming up in November, and I'd love us to be intimate in SOME way... it's so disheartening for me, I hardly feel good about myself physically now as it is and am upset at the thought of another 3 months plus post partum recovery like this!

Has anyone found any fun games, or massage instructions, or...I don't even know what I'm asking for, really? Some thoughts on how to build/enjoy physical intimacy and attraction without sex, I guess? Or do you think that's not possible and it'll be platonic cuddles for the next few months?

I had considered buying some exciting lingerie and maybe an adult board game, but now am just grateful we had the conversation and I didn't end up making a (large-bellied!) fool out of myself(!).

Sometimes just a long passionate snog can be amazing!

Or how about you give each other a naked massage?

Is it the pregnant belly he finds offputting? Seems a bit of a cop out as there are plenty of other things he could do to you while keeping your belly covered (don't see why you should have to do that though). Breast play and oral?

Not sure, to be honest, would need to discuss further. I think it's the whole concept, because apparently he's felt this way since I started showing. Even getting oral from a pregnant lady is weird, apparently! I was completely under the covers....!!! Grr :)

Frustrating for me, obviously, but getting cross about it won't help- and he's always so understanding of me, so I just want to be supportive (and have fun!). I think massage might be the answer, but I don't know how to do it?! Will have a google...

Dh was like this too, he just became over protective and couldn’t get sexual with me which I found hurtful and upsetting. He resumed back to normal very quickly though .

Glad to hear there's light at the end of the tunnel :) I'm glad he was honest, but yes- it is a bit hurtful, even though rationally I know it shouldn't be. Had a google yesterday and it seems to be a very common reaction. Not that that helps my weekend away plans...!

Could he not satisfy you with his fingers on your clitoris? I imagine the naked massage and snogging with nothing else could just be very frustrating.

"Could he not satisfy you with his fingers on your clitoris? "

Why would you want that done by someone who doesn't currently desire you?
I don't get the snogging suggestion either, he won't be in the mood for it.

My DH was terrified of harming the baby, even though I'd reassured him.

I felt so sexy while pg & masturbated a lot! It used to worry me slightly when I felt my womb spasming when I came

He said he's just not interested sexually in pregnant women, which is fair enough
No, not fair enough! It's not about him being sexually interested in pregnant women, it's about him being sexually interested in YOU.
I do understand that pregnancy can change things and some men do feel a bit weird having PIV with their pregnant partner, but to reject oral sex from you is shit.
I think you need to dig a bit deeper and find out what the hell is going on here. And he needs to put some effort in.

Completely agree - I would not accept that superficial bull shit. WHat a way to ruin a relationship and your sled life completely!