Give me an honest answer about penetration and how you feel.

[MadameBonfire]

Okay here goes. I think DP is a bit on the slim side. Not very much but a bit compared to others. I've always thought this, both before and after having DCs. I think he is normal, but on the lower range for width. Length is fine.

I'll be honest, we split for a good while during which time we both saw other people and I felt he was a bit 'slim' .
I am not 'saggy' in fact I've had a gynae repair so was very tight for a while afterwards and pretty scared of sex. However, I sometimes wonder if the surgery affected my sensations or took away my G spot (I had my vagina repaired for medical reasons.)

When he starts going in, it feels tight. But once he's inside me I can feel him, of course, but there isn't really any pleasure, as such. I know all about clit stimulation and we do loads of that, but actual thrusting doesn't do anything for me. My clit is miles away from him!

I know the vagina doesn't have that many nerve endings but wonder if it's 'me' and the op I had that's reducing sensation, or if this is normal.

I haven't got any insight on the 'op' side of things. My partner is small and although, like you, I can feel the initial entry, and that feels tight, once my arousal increases, there is less of a feeling and less of a sense of him being there. We do lots of hand'fingers stuff at the same time but the thrusting side of things doesn't give much sensation when I'm aroused. I couldn't say it's normal or not, just proabbly how you fit together.

OP - so many things affect how your perceive/experience sexual act that it’s impoasible to tell what’s really going on.

I’ve had the both one of the best, and well as one of the most blah experiences with the same man. Separated by a few years, but no body changes (mine) in between. All to do with the level of excitement, and whatever else was going on.

And you had children - which not only affects the shape of th body; but caring for them affects everything - you as a person, and you as a couple.
Plus your operation.

So - in a way - you need to read-discover how your own body works. You can do it with him by trying different things.
And you can also self-explore (😂) - just get yourself one of those vibrating toys and try to look for that G-spot!!!!!
I hope it didn’t disappear!!!!

Good luck

How about ordering a soft dildo and stick it in when he penetrates you. Then you're quite filled out and the sensation of that should do the trick to any perceived or real looseness. I'm tight in the beginning but when I get aroused I get quite loose and an extra soft dildo tightens things up again. Sorry if TMI

! I honestly don't think there is any room for anything else.
But I appreciate the idea.

It's more a case of what do other women feel on penetration.(Not linked to average size. I am sure he is average , but without getting a tape measure out I can't be sure. ) I just don't really enjoy the thrusting except for the being close & intimacy. It doesn't turn me on but maybe we're doing something wrong.

My dh is the same. It's ok if he's on top, but not with me on top. I actually find it's better if he's wearing a condom, particularly a textured one when on top. I think the friction helps.

Otherwise a cock ring might help? A non-vibrating one would mean contact reaches far enough forward to add a bit more friction.

my oh is actually quite thick, not the thickest but thicker than average however I get the same thing, first it feels really tight then after a while I can't feel it quite as much but Its still enough for arousal.

I used to feel this way with my ex. First few minutes of penetration were very pleasurable, but then I think the vagina reacts physically with lubrication and stretching and then there was no sensation at all. Just rubbing really. He was just under average size.

My partner now is very large and I rarely have that loss of sensation anymore.

Perhaps try stopping and starting a few times during sex? Get him to pull out and do some other things then resume?

Sometimes a pillow under the hips changes the angle a bit for more contact, legs over his shoulders or on your knees?

I also find a bit of grinding contact more pleasurable than the in n out method.

I have the same thing, penetration feels nice but I’ll never in a million years orgasm from it...doesn’t make any difference how big the penis is! I need all sorts of toys and other stimulation to orgasm.

Yep I'm the same. Nice with the intimacy but don't get anything from the thrusting.

I get more than I used to from it now that we're older and do more grinding than thrusting.

Also I got better at stopping if i wasn't enjoying it any more.

Different positions, different sensations...I enjoy the thrusting, get a totally different kind of climax from penatrative sex than I do from clit stim. On top I'm a bit more of a grinder; from behind, the ermm natural curve seems to be very effective :)

I definitely get more from girth than length. A partner with a slim penis is definitely not going to do much for me during vaginal sex. My ideal is a guy who comfortably fits into a Mates Kingsize condom.

Have you tried tightening up your vaginal muscles during sex? You do have to concentrate but you'd probably get more sensation.

I get nothing from thrusting & I’ve been with a variety of sizes Just does nothing for me. I’d def take girth over length but neither will make me orgasm without clit stimulation.

OP............ I think you just have to accept that not all men will be able to satisfy you through penetration alone. My husband can't because he is to small, and also cannot last long. So that part of sex is about love, intimacy and affection for us, and he gets me off in other ways. My BF is the opposite, he is very well endowed and has great stamina, and gets me off a loads with just penetration. Everyone is different........

I think some posters have picked up the wrong idea here.....:)

This is not about size, but about how penetration does it for you - and I'm not talking orgasm. I'm talking about general 'enjoyment'.

I've got friends who feel like me- that thrusting is pretty boring and they don't 'feel' much (friends without DCs so nothing to do with slack muscles.)

75 % of women don't orgasm through penetration. That's fine! I know that. I was asking if many women also just don't feel much because for men, thrusting is everything .

bridge I'm confused- you have a DH and a BF (boyfriend? ) Lucky you

Yes I'm lucky MadameBonfire, and before you ask....... They both know about each other and are friends.

Some woman will never get off from penetration alone, but some will with one man, and not with another. I'm an example of that. My DH has never made me orgasm just through penetration, but my BF can give me loads in one session.

I get nothing out of penetrative sex either and it’s getting me down.
Before I had kids I could orgasm when on top, but penetration just doesn’t hit the spot anymore no matter what the position.
Seems to take me a lot longer to get there these days so dp has to work really hard with fingers to get a result before penetration.
It annoys me. Sometimes I just want a quick shag. But if we do, I get nothing out of it.
I really really want to enjoy piv sex but I really don’t.

Have you tried penetration whilst you are both lying on your sides, face to face?

I tried it for the first time a few months ago, and it blew my mind. I am also now pregnant with our second baby as a result

I've had surgery for a prolapsed bladder and my gynae nurse checked my vagina for sensation as she told me you can lose sensation from fast births and big babies. I had fast births.

She basically pushed her finger forwards, backwards and to each side to check if I could feel it. So you could try that yourself to see if you can feel sensation there.

He should have his pelvis ON your pelvis when you're having penatrative sex. How is your clitorus "miles away" from him?

Good grief Mrs what do you think we're doing!!!! Using it like a wand from several feet away?!

It might be worth you reading this. There is evidence that the position and proximity of the clitoris to the vagina affects orgasm.

www.medicaldaily.com/clitoral-size-distance-vagina-may-cause-women-have-orgasm-troubles-269920

I get a lot of enjoyment from penetrative sex even before orgasm. He usually makes me orgasm several times during it to be honest. He's not even the biggest ever either, just the right size for me.

I find penetration much more pleasurable before I get too aroused. Once things are too lubricated I'm unlikely to orgasm from it, though it's still enjoyable. Since having kids I can also orgasm in positions I couldn't before, but it's definitely not the majority of the time through piv only.

Since kids I'd say thrusting not as noticeable and normal experience .
I think the Ca t
Technique
Helps . Coital
Alignment .