Extra friend

[Fuzzyduck123]

So to start with i’m quite young but this was the only site i knew of to get answers. I was at a party last night and everyone got very drunk, from about 10pm i started talking to a guy and we were getting close. We went upstairs and got in bed, not knowing what would happen, just laying down. Now my gay friend came in and decided to get in bed with us. He knew what had been happening and we were trying to have some privacy and he just went to sleep. Even though i think he was asleep, i didn’t want to do anything infront of him-but this guy was spooning me and feeling me up. I have a feeling we would have got further if my friend wouldn’t have been there. Help please, am i right to be mad? I also want to see him again, but don’t have his number.

Very sensible TDH

Pissed sex at a party with a guy you've only just met? ! How classy!

TDH how weird. What are you trying to say about women?
A glass of wine is nothing. Are you saying if you're married or had a gf, if they've had more than a glass you won't go near them?
What happens if you go on a date and share a bottle of wine and she wants sex afterwards? Would you refuse because she might 'cry rape'?
Aren't women to be trusted after one glass of wine?
What century are you from?

Jellyheadbang, I'm sure TDH meant the comment with regards to stranger woman in response to thread discussion so not a gf or wife. Also one glass of wine is not nothing for everyone as not all woman are booze gozzlers. I drink very rarely and one cocktail or half glass wine is enough to make me tipsy. A full glass wine would be a lot for me and would affect my decision making massively. And yes some women do cry rape. It's 100% sensible that TDH would set limits to protect himself. Rape accusation even if later found to be false have massive implications.

Fuzzyduck123, think carefully before you start an unclassy sex with random men lifestyle.

Jelly
I think that's sound advice from TDH
Is a random drunken shag really worth your life being in pieces or reputation ruined if a rape allegation come from that drunken shag?
Basically putting your future in the hands of a stranger isn't the best idea.

Can we stop with the shaming language please.

Getting into bed with someone you don't know isn't safe or very good common sense but I don't think it's helpful labelling it as grubby or unclassy or somehow morally wrong.

Having casual sex doesn't make a woman unclassy ffs. I agree that there's no need to shame others on this.

I think you should be thanking your gay friend. He has stopped you being taken advantage of by someone who took a very young, drunk, girl into a bedroom and tried to worm her into having sex when she clearly was incapable of giving consent. What sort of a person does that? The sort of man/boy who doesn't care a toss about your feelings,your safety, or your protection from pregnancy or infection. The sort of man who frankly sees you as a convenient hole.

Please have more respect for yourself in future. Remember you have a life ahead of you full of the possibility of loving,caring,exciting relationships. Don't feel you have to settle for the first(or even second or third or fourth person) who tries to get into your knickers.

Jelly. Run through the OP's scenario again but at the point she sobers up she decides sex is a bad idea. Where does this leave our spooning guy with hands all over her? I'm with TDH on this one. Us guys have to look out for our safety and welfare too!

Casual sex is fine (assuming both parties are over age of consent ). Staying safe/protecting your health (physical and mental) is imperative though.
Sexual activity with someone else in the room? Rude and disrespectful, surely? (unless it's a group situation!)

Well parker unconsential sex IS legally rape. All parts of a sex act must be consented to. Thats not 'crying rape.'

Well Damnthatonestaken learn that to 'cry rape' means to lie that you were raped in order to get revenge on someone or to get attention I.e. To pretend you were raped when you weren't. I'm sure that only a minuscule percentage of rape accusations are lies but nevertheless it still happens. Please get your facts right before regurgitating my post. Not once did I say or imply that unconsensual sex or any unconsensual sexual act was legal. My post was to state that the TDH is correct to take measures to protect himself from women (or men) who take advantage of the rape laws to pretend they were assaulted.

Your friend did you a favour. This kind of sex is a bad idea on so many levels. If you really like this guy and he really likes you there is no reason why you can't have sex without being drunk. If the boy won't sleep with you when he's sober then it's better that it didn't happen.

So i’m only 16 but need advice from a mothers pov.

I have a boyfriend of about 4 months and we had sex at the very beginning of us being close because i felt ready for it (i don’t regret doing it but a part of me wishes i’d have waited a bit longer). I want to get the implant so i can have safer sex but i need advice on it. I darent bring it up to my mum because i don’t feel comfortable talking to her about personal things i’m a closed off person in general. I wouldn’t know what to say and i feel like she would judge me because when we first got together she used to try and tell me not to sleep in the same bed as him. Thoughts?

So you have a boyfriend but this lad at the party wasn't him, so you were cheating? Again I think your friend was saving you from a mistake, or if he's your boyfriend friend protecting him from your behaviour.

If you want a mother's point of view, I'd say, give your head a wobble. Think about preventing STDs as well as contraception. If you are starting to sleep with multiple, not always well known, partners STD prevention is a must. Seriously I can't stress that enough.

Look at the dates lemony, the original post is from last November and the current post says she's been with the bf 4m so no she wasn't cheating