After birth

[Bmarie]

Hi everyone.

I had my first baby 3 months ago, I had internal & external tearing and an episiotomy.

I know midwives etc say you're fine to have sex whenever you feel ready but I still feel like there would be nothing worse than trying to have sex I'm still really achy and sore, just wondering what's a normal amount of time really?

I called the doctors last week and they prescribed me some antibiotics over the phone as (sorry to be disgusting) I have a lot of discharge currently which is totally different to my 'normal' and I'm still having to take pain killers, they don't seem to have worked though

Thanks x

Ooh love, first of all I would say get to a doctor and get them to have a proper look, just to check you're healing properly, you should be feeling much better by now. But even if you were feeling tip top - please don't feel pressured to have sex when you don't feel like it! Your hormones will be all over the place, you've just gone through a massive physical trauma, give yourself time to adjust and reset

Mine healed normally and I didn't feel ready until 4 months!

It took me about 7 weeks to sit/walk comfortably I didn't have sec until a few months after this as it would of been painful/not enjoyable.

Take your time, don't rush into it and maybe get checked over again to make sure all is healing ok.

Are you feeling any better today OP?

Thanks everyone!

Nope not really @InMemoryOfSleep, I'm going to ring the doctors in the morning and try get booked in, i haven't been examined since midwife last came to my house which must have been at about 3 weeks... I did start feeling like I was heeling and getting better but then just seem to decline the past few weeks.. hopefully I can get it sorted

Xx

I had discharge until I stopped breastfeeding with all of mine. Only one midwife ever mentioned that sometimes that happens.

@Bmarie good luck getting to the doctors, stand your ground and demand to be seen - so many doctors seem to think these kind of issues are 'normal' after birth and they are absolutely not! Hope you get sorted x

Hi

I had an episiotomy and the stitches came out at day 6 and had an infection. My healing process was very slow and long and involved weekly visits to the doctors. I thought I was never going to be healed!

But the good news is that time is a great healer. Just over 5 months from giving birth I am pretty much all healed and have felt comfortable to try sex again. I was anxious but I would recommend speaking to your partner about it beforehand. It really does help. Although in myself I was ready for sex before now I couldnt bring myself to do it.

My advice would be to speak with your partner, use lub (it does help!) and only try if you are totally comfortable with it. An extra week can make all the difference! (My doctor also used a speculum to check me internally but also for me to feel what it is like to have something back in that area!)

I hope this helps