Would this turn you off? First time with this man and not sure.

[GreekYoghurts]

I have recently had sex with a man who was a friend for a long time. He's middle aged, divorced, played the field a lot - know that- and I assumed he'd be experienced. But his behaviour in bed has left me wondering.

For a start, he fingered me quite deeply (sorry to be so frank) while kissing and fully clothed. It wasn't exactly comfortable as I was not really aroused enough.

He tweaked my nipples to the extent that it hurt. Not just a caress but a real ' twist and pull' on them.

Immediately he was inside of me, he was banging away as if the harder and faster the better. Nope. He was pretty well endowed and again, it was slightly 'ouch', which he took as me not liking him.

On the pros side, he was happy to spend ages going down on me, but the 'goal' was I'd come (so I felt under pressure) and he kept asking if I was enjoying it.

Verdict?

He was also a crotch grinder when kissing.
Urgh....

Me too. I like the stuff listed! But the important thing isyou dont. Doesn't make him bad, doesn't mean him good for you either.

Could he have been nervous?

forget the sex for a minute. do you actually like him for him? if you do, it's worth teaching him. if not (or if your not willing to teach him) then dump him now.

Argh I went out with a bloke like this before I met dh. He was quite well endowed and he just seemed to go for hard and fast if anything I felt like a rag doll and he hard with his fingers. He was completely clueless and I often faked it tbh. I ended it after several in counters. Sex with dh is loving and caring and 9/10 climax.

He is doing all the classic hallmarks of what makes a man lousy in bed.

Surely you teach him what you like no?

He was also a crotch grinder when kissing.
Urgh....

This^

Any man that does that to me can fuck right off. It's about as attractive as a crutch sniffing dog. (Crutch sniffing men are worse though.)

It's pretty much harassment IMO. It's about as sensual as him coming out with, 'you know what I want' as foreplay.

Twisted your nipples which hurt you ? I would have felt assaulted.

So, let me get this straight. You didn't like sex with him and you're wondering whether you should do it again.

Well, remember that food you don't like or t.v. show you don't watch.........yeah, that.

He's a shitty selfish lover who was impatient to get what he wanted. Sounds to me like he rushed his foreplay. He also pretty much demanded that you have an orgasm. Well, men can't be pressured to orgasm either.

I would have felt pummelled and assaulted at the end if that was me.

I can't bear men who just shove their cock into my vagina and their penetration style is just shove, shove, shove. I don't like just being poked by a hard but skinny cock with loose foreskin either.

He sounds quite arrogant. on the first shag, he should have been gentle and tentative, wrong word but you know what I mean, gently building up/seeing if it was appropriate, respectful etc

Christ if this is the first, I'd not go back for more.

Sounds like you had high expectations and really wanted this to work and this is clouding your ability to look at the reality.

You didn't connect sexually, and he was verging on repulsing you. It's not a good recipe for a happy relationship

I suspect if you had had such sex with someone you hadn't such expectations of you wouldn't hesitate to finish it.

Sounds like he needs a bit of direction - if you’re really into him give him a few basics in what you do and don’t like

Op you didnt like what he did but some people do like that. Maybe one of his girlfriends loved having her nipples pulled or really liked harder sex. Its obviously how he likes having sex you have different prefrences there is nothing wrong with either way. If you like him i would try and speak to him about it when he was doing these things what did you say ? Did you ask him to be gentle, slow down a bit ect?

Those calling him dreadful are a bit harsh, as it's all personal preference. I quite like a lot of the things listed! You could talk to him or let him go.

Agree with this... The questions i’d ask are ‘the sex aside, do you like him?’, ‘do you wish you could make it work with him?’ and ‘do you feel he’s the kind of man whise likely to be receptive to communication which would improve the sex?’ If the answers to all 3 are yes, then I’d give it another go... if not, then best to leave it.