My partner has a low sex drive and is selfish in bed.

[Rosesbite]

I know this isn't a reason to just split up..
But I've brought this up and solutions countless times over a year.
I'm talking 2 seconds of foreplay and unless it's the off chance he lets me take control, I'm left hanging Always!!
I'm literally so frustrated some days I can't even look at him..
I'm always the ones to buy the condoms (we have children, don't want anymore and he won't have sex without, even though I'm on the injection)

He will leave it months before I give in and buy them. He just isn't arsed and tbh I'm sick of telling him.
He isn't affectionate anyway, so this is the only way we are close.
I know he isn't cheating before anyone says. Because he really doesn't have time. I don't think he'd make the effort regardless.
I've suggested role play, I've done the underwear, I've discussed possible reasons (stress ect). He assures me he's fine.

I don't want to be in a relationship with no passion. Is my only option to leave him?
I do love him and that frustrates me even more.
But I'm young and I'm not ugly so I have the potential to create an incredible relationship with someone who wants the same.
I want that with him, but it doesn't seem to be happening.

He really is a selfish man.

If he knows how serious this is for you and still won't change then I'm afraid it's not going to get any better. From what you've described you deserve so much better. Good luck.

It’s unlikely to get better I’m afraid.

Also the times he does have sex with you, you’ll always be wondering whether he actually wants it or is just doing it to appease you. It’s shit. I’ve been there. I left. Best thing I ever did.

though.

He sounds incredibly selfish. I'm sure there are other ways he is selfish not just in your sex life if he behaves like this.

It will only get worse.

How long has it been like this? Has he ever been a considerate lover?

Been together 2 1/2 years.. its been this way a year and a half! I know hes capable thats wjat frustrates the hell out of me!

I know this isn't a reason to just split up.

It really is OP. A dull, boring or non existent sex life would be a deal clincher for me. Without sex, you're just glorified friends. That might work for some but, clearly doesn't for you. Kick him into touch.

All of your suggestions would have been spot on for the vast majority of men. It really is him, not you

Christ, that absolutely IS a reason to split up!

It is reason to split up, it's a totally selfish way to behave.

That said op, you can be responsible for your own orgasm so do you have a toy you could use.

I'd be tempted to pull out before his moment of climax and switch on a battery operated device until I got there, then decide whether he can finish or not. But that way spirals to the end for sure.

Sex was only good for one year?

Is he selfish on other areas of the relationship as well?

Yuck, that is definitely a good enough reason to split up
Only a year of reasonable sex before it went like this? Not worth staying

If you don't have children together, I'd be off like a flash!

I agree with everyone, it definitely is enough reason to end it. When you're stuck in on a Saturday night together, no babysitters available, a good, fun session keeps you fresh and in tune. No way I'd sacrifice sex in a relationship for anything (except illness of course).

Stuck between wanting to have sex with him and not because 0 effort is made.
May just buy a dildo and tell the man straight 🤷

We do have children and yeah he is pretty selfish..
Should have known. What an idiot 😒

Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?
Cut your loses short.

If you've already tried talking about it and suggesting improvement you probably do need to be rather blunt now. Perhaps he needs to hear how close you are to walking to make an effort. He obviously can if he was ok to begin with. Don't suffer in silence or grin and bare it though, that'll improve nothing.

Is it since the kids? What would he say if you said you will leave if it doesnt improve, and what if he makes a temporary effort then relapses? Why the condoms? He sounds v uptight.

Because the coil failed us so he doesn't trust contraception. Yeah sex has been amazing so I know he can.
I have just been blunt with him, he actually tried it on with me and I told him I'm not having sex with a lazy selfish man. I'd rather pleasure myself.
I told him we are roommates and parents nothing else and that I'm ready to do it alone.

Safe to say he may have shit himself a bit and admitted he's been wrong. I've told him it's his last chance to change. So we will see guys.. (doubt it)
Stay tuned.....

Good for you Rosesbite. Sending you a massive high five for confronting him. I really hope he takes you seriously and makes an effort.

I could have written this op. I totally feel your pain!
I go through stages of just trying to expect it and feeling really resentful about it.
I'm sick of talking about it with my DH. We have been together 12 years and it's been like this for 11! I love him very much so don't leave but sometime I do have to remind myself life could be worse!

Dizzy...
But life could be better.. .
And we only get one x