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Likely transmission of

3 replies

Whatisitreally · 24/09/2017 23:53

herpes. Sorry, gross topic which I've name changed for. Despite getting on a bit, have only been with present dh and one other at uni many years ago. Quite naive, which is why I'm posting here.
Over the past year or so I've noticed a sore throat and ulcer on my throat after giving dh a bj. He returned the favour as it was just cleared up and lo and behold has one too now (at least the sore throat, not sure yet about the other). Googling symptoms brought up herpes, reading it I realise I may have had a genital outbreak about 9 years ago, but not realised the significance at the time. Prior to this, I had not suffered anything, dh had occasional cold sores but I didn't. Oral wasn't as frequent then as more recently but I never noticed a problem then, back then I was on the pill and I think condoms were used apart from at infertile periods.
He reckons he hasn't got herpes because of no symptoms, but can't explain my outbreaks. He says if he had anything it would have been before we got together, which was about ten years before my outbreak. Is that possible? Not to catch it for ten years while being intimate? If intimate contact was only during (herpes) non active periods? Does it work like that? Could it have been the cold sore?
Not trying to jump to conclusions but I was suspicious of his friendships with someone at work round about this time. Of course it's too long ago to remember accurate times now, but knowing that I caught him intending to cheat once way before that doesn't fill me with confidence.
Can anyone advise on this?

OP posts:
MrsOverTheRoad · 25/09/2017 05:00

Herpes can lie dormant for many years OP. It can pop up if you're a bit run down...it's not unusual for it to not rear it's ugly face for years after initial infection so it's perfectly possible that one or the other of you caught it before you were together.

Whatisitreally · 25/09/2017 05:09

Thanks mrs. That makes sense with the timeline then...

OP posts:
Shadow01 · 25/09/2017 07:00

There are 2 strains of the herpes virus. One usually causes cold sores the other usually genital sores, but it's possible to get the facial one on your genitals and vice versa. So if he's had cold sores in the past it's possible he's passed the virus onto you or its possible that you've had the virus for years and it's simply laid dormant. You can pass on the virus even if not showing symptoms at the time.

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