Can we have a sex life with young kids AND young adult kids at home?

[RapunzelsRealMom]

Another one about a lack of a sex life, only this time both DH and I are keen, however, living with young adults and young kids makes this extremely difficult!

We have a very happy marriage, we fancy each other, get along great, with the occasional row. We flirt and talk about having sex later that night but when it comes, our older children are in the living room directly below our bedroom and can hear any creak or squeak of the bed.

They're too old for us to insist on bedtimes - one at uni and the other a senior at school - but we have work in the mornings and can't stay awake till stupid o'clock to have a shag!

We've tried setting the alarm early but we also have young kids who wake at the crack of dawn and come in with us to snuggle.

We're lucky if the older ones both go out on a Friday or Saturday evening so we get the younger kids down and frantically squeeze in a quickie before we're interrupted. That's great but not for every bloody time.

So apart from saying, "Get your earplugs in, dad and I are horny", what can we do?

Well done on having got together enough to make the children. Can you meet up in the daytime? Lunchtimes? After work?

Tell the older kids to go out for the night instead of waiting until they finally do at the same time?

If they're adult children, being at uni, they could look after the younger children for the night while you book a hotel?

Just do it quietly!

If the bed creaks, do it on the floor. Get a lock or a wedge for your door. Take a day or even just a morning off together every now and again. Ask or pay the older children to look after the younger ones for a night every so often so you can stay in a hotel by yourselves. Get a new bed or one of those fancy chairs that doesn't creak.

The floor is an excellent idea. Throw a couple of thick duvets and some cushions, down, and Bob's yer uncle.

You could even drape a few sheets over it (using 2 chairs to hold them up) et voilà - your very own sex den cosy little "snug."

You could try at lunchtime while the older ones are out and younger ones at nursery or napping

Yeah was going to say get on the floor, maybe put a lock on your room too if it's reassuring! Just need an excuse for why it's there haha. I would say shower sex or in the bathtub but it sounds alot more uncomfy than we'd think

Just do it anyway, it'll be good for them to know that sex is not reserved for the young and beautiful, it won't traumatise them!

Up against the wall?

Pop out shopping together and do it in the car somewhere quiet?

When ours were teenagers, we bought them headphones and tablets.
Every Saturday night we took wine and takeaway up to our room and spent the night in there.
They soon started making weekend plans so we had privacy

I agree with @wiggly - the kids aren't king! If you make it into a big deal it'll become stressful and eventually you'll fall out of the habit and not want to anymore.

Thanks all.

Quietly on the floor it is then. I like the idea of a door stop - not quite as obvious as a lock.

I know I should be able to be slightly more open about it with grown up children but there's still the ick factor.

I like the takeaway and wine idea. We often go to bed early to watch tv (genuinely watch tv) but as they know we're still awake, kids of all ages come and go as they please. So I foresee takeaway and wine stains on the bed and not much else

Me and my sister heard my mums bed creaking as teenagers.. headphones went in straight away.

I didn't think anything of it, I couldn't have cared less. I'm sure the older ones wouldn't be bothered either.

We go to bed early to watch TV. . . .

Leave telly on quite loud...

Tried that Dame but then you can't hear them coming!!

Love this. It's the same in our house. We have 2 older and one younger. We try to have day dates every so often. These can include actually going out or going back to bed once they've all got to school

RAPUNZEL That's ok, the idea is that they can't hear you coming 😂

FFS, get a lock for your door! Who cares if it's "obvious" or not? You're a married couple, and surely your adult children aren't so daft that they don't realize you have a sex life. Children should also be taught that if mum and dad's door is closed, privacy is needed, so don't knock unless it's very important. How young are your youngest?

Reminds me when dd1 came downstairs a few months ago in the middle of the night because she thought I fell out of bed and was painfully moaning ... as she was saying this to me I literally saw the light switch on in her head and we couldn't stop laughing!
Dh and I don't stop having a sex life because the children are in the house. Though we do try and work things around when they are out or in bed, but dd1 is an insomniac so has probably heard us a few times. She doesn't really mention it, except for occasionally taking the p - it's perfectly normal for a loving couple to have a healthy, sexual relationship.

Seriously get a lock!