If you were physically fit then unfit did your sex life suffer?

[SecretMagicThings]

I used to be a bit of a gym bunny. Lately done no exercise, gained some flab and felt embarrassed in bed (I had a thread).

Gave my head a shake and got back into it with DH but it has been rubbish in general and I also have not had an orgasm in months (not through his lack of trying).

Wondering if it is lack of fitness? Am finding sex to be much harder work than I used to, must be lack of fitness. Did anyone see a difference when they stopped exercising?

Nobody? I was hoping for some motivation to get back in the gym! Or at least an excuse to slob around now I feel a bit less bothered about my tum.

I have a much higher sex drive when I am fit. You feel better about yourself, you have more stamina. Win win. I now lift a lot of heavy weights (I am lucky to be slim and it doesn't bulk like people think it does). It has for sure made a massive difference to me.

Thanks, I know I should get back into it. My sex drive is very much still there but do feel lacking in stamina. Also wondering where my orgasm has gone .

Yes I have this exact problem. Met DH about 9 years ago when I had lost a lot of weight and felt very confident. We had tons of sex as all new couples do, were very adventurous, talked about things we'd like to try and tried them.

Since then I've yo yoed weight wise but never really been as slim or fit as I was then. Sex has dwindled so much. Part of this was due to being unable to conceive and so became very stressful. That's all behind us thank goodness but sex has not really got back on track.

We've talked about it and agree that we don't have as much sex as we would like but we now have 2 DC and are very tired. When we do have sex it's great but I don't come as much as I used to and I think that's down to my fitness in a way.

Anyway I'm on another diet and going back to the gym so hopefully things will improve. In every other respect our marriage is good so the lack of sex is not causing problems between us, its more about how I feel about myself.

2 DC here too. That's interesting you think fitness does have an effect on orgasm. I am beyond frustrated as finding it impossible to get there these days .

Am a bit embarrassed that I have let myself go looks and fitness wise a bit so that doesn't help although I'm getting over that.

I think the exercise makes me feel energised and better about my body, so great for confidence and self esteem and that increases my libido, but despite that i recently list my ability to climax, despite daily amazing sex. I have been supplementing with vitamin b complex and am back to easily climaxing through piv.

My dp and i are trying to tone up and get fit together too, which is great. We get really competitive which spurs each other on. I'm currently winning the plank contest - he's on 5 minutes 15 seconds, I'm surging ahead on 6 minutes 30 seconds

I don't think it does. Well not in my experience. I'm overweight and completely unfit due to mobility issues but our sex life is amazing

Definitely on the look out for an amazing sex life!

I think this is psychological, not physical.
Your sex life suffered because of how you felt emotionally. You had to give your head a wobble to get yourself back into sex and overcome your embarrassment. You may have convinced your body but you didn't convince your mind. Now you can't orgasm and your brain is telling you that the only explanation is how your body looks.
Unless you have gained several stone, your body hasn't changed that much. You're trying too hard to orgasm when I suspect you still aren't completely comfortable with how you look. More confidence would help you relax and make you more likely to orgasm.
Get back to the gym if you want to, but go back to basics in bed. Stop trying to orgasm - in fact, actively avoid trying. Enjoy everything else. The orgasm will come later.

Great advice, thanks Akimbo (fab username!). No, have gone up a dress size so not a huge change, just overly conscious of it I guess. Maybe I should stop trying actually as trying too hard is really not working for me!