Upcoming date night, need suggestions

[Princessgrace2011]

Need your help peeps!
Me and hubby are having a date night this weekend, meaning kids are sleeping out at grandparents so we have the house all to ourselves.
We've been going through a bit of a rough patch not just sex wise but relationship wise as well. Long story short been together 15 yrs+2 kids+both working+busy lives= just not getting along, boring, groundhog day situation etc!
We occasionally have date nights which end up kind of quiet, whenever we are alone in a pub we seem to have this arkward feeling were we have nothing to talk about and getting drunk doesnt seem to help either. We've been talking through our issues and seem to be getting back on track.
Anyway we have a date night, obviously pub is out of the question, so I was thinking a night in the bedroom to hopefully put a spark back in our dreary sex life!
Any suggestions on what to do? We've tried pretty much everything in the time we've been together, spanking, role play, toys, out door sex (in our younger days) etc he's not overly adventurous. Anything that would put that extra bit of wow factor into the evening would be a great help!

Share a bottle of wine maybe and cuddle and talk. You'll both loosen up and connect emotionally. Sex will more than likely follow.

Perhaps don't plan how to liven it up?

DP and I go through similar phases and it is nice to reconnect sexually. Lots of kissing and caressing during it. The emotion and passion will be amazing. Imo

I know I'm a bugger for planning things! But if I don't plan a night like that it won't happen he's not the sort to take the initiative alcohol is it then!

Maybe have a dinner or take away, watch a film chat and hopefully laugh, good nights sleep and leisurely sex the following morning when you are refreshed. And maybe a quick knee trembler on the afternoon before the kids get back.

We rarely have sex in the evening, even if kids away - very overrated in our opinion!

You're overthinking this.

Give him a wink, tell him to put on his best Calvin's & to join you in the boudoir. Jobs a good un.

FFS its Wednesday and your planning the weekend date/sex thing. No pressure then.
Ever heard of being spontaneous??
There is more to intimacy than sex. Can you not just relax with each other and see what comes UP.

I'd do the sex first! Are the DC being collected or dropped off? If they get picked up wait until they've gone, lock the door in case of forgotten blanket or something, yep thanks for knocking dad!. Say lets make the most of the kids being gone, then ask him to choose a room and have some fun!! double check the door if choosing a downstairs room

Then I'd do the takeaway and bottle of wine after.

If it's something that your DH is ok with, you could wake him up with oral the following morning.

Evening of connecting fun. Something you can do together. Local drop in dance class? Observatory evening?

Then a drink/food

Then morning sex

Why not offer to give him a full body massage.

I too think you are doing this in the wrong order.
You need to reconnect with the person first, surely. Go out and laugh together - whether that is something like a dance class as Cat suggested, or going to a comedy club, or trying some new activity. Once you've connected back with the man you fell for, the rest will follow.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think date nights suck. I think LTRs should be enjoyed for what they are - being comfortable at home - and not try to make them in to something they aren't - a new dating relationship.

Nothing highlights what's lacking in a relationship than dragging yourselves to something random neither really wants to do, like pottery class or salsa dancing, then afterwards sitting in silence at a restaurant. For me a nice take away and movie at home reminds me what I love about being married.

I agree with needing to reconnect before you think about sex, music always works for me and DH. Some of the best 'date nights' we've had have involved digging out old CD's from when we first got together and reminding ourselves that we used to be happy just holed up in his bedroom shagging each other senseless listening to music and talking The combination of nostalgia and a child free house might just be enough to reignite the spark without needing to spice things up.

Thanks for your responses , think we need to work on our connection definitely.
Its just hard with 2 kids thrown in the mix, hard to just switch from being mummy and daddy to being us as soon as they walk out the door! Need to relax more I know.
Like the idea of listening to music from when we were younger might rekindle some of the magic back! Fingers crossed!

Why don't you reminisce and try some of the more adventurous things you say you enjoyed in the past? Could be a good way of getting the spark back. I agree with others not to overplan though, it's bound to lead to disappointment. Hope you have a fun weekend.

The only prep I'd be doing is making sure I had a fave underwear set ready to wear on that day.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think date nights suck. I think LTRs should be enjoyed for what they are - being comfortable at home - and not try to make them in to something they aren't - a new dating relationship

Not unpopular, but definitely interesting. My LTR isn't really about being comfortable at home - we're always out and about doing things, together and with others. We don't do date nights, really, but we do go out together so it's almost the same thing.

Rather than date nights, it's probably more about getting back to how you naturally are, without the stress of life/children.

I've never really thought about it like that!

Depending on funds I would consider getting glammed up and heading out for a REALLY nice dinner and cocktails at some lovely grown up place. Make a point of NOT talking about kids / work / stressy life stuff.

Chat about nice things you could potentially do together for instance if the grandparents sleep over goes well, perhaps there is scope for another in a few months and you could plan a trip / weekend away together.

Reconnect as two people who fell in love and as pp have said the rest will follow..