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Original poster

10 yo almost caught us! What should i say ?

14 replies

Redcliff · 31/07/2017 23:16

I really don't know if this is the right place to post this but no other section seed to work. My 10 yo DS almost caught us having sex ! I think he heard us and came down the stairs (we were in the front room) - DH opened the door thinking he was about half way down and he was right at the bottom.

I told him to get out and he was asking DH why he couldn't come in. I went upstairs once I'd got my self together and said we had been watching a grown up film that he was too young to see but he clearly didn't buy it. I really don't know what to do. I'm also worried this means the end of my love life. What would you do/say? If you have a small house and older children what do you do?

OP posts:
NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 31/07/2017 23:55

Unless he asks, I would just leave it and not mention it. I would get a lock for your bedroom door for now and look forward to his teenage years...my teens are rarely up before midday at the weekend so that has become our time!

Minime85 · 01/08/2017 10:00

Put a large object in front of living room door!

Josuk · 01/08/2017 11:34

At 10yo he probably knows more about sex than you think he does. He just probably doesn't connect that knowledge to his parents.
Ask your DH, but I am pretty sure, by 10 boys already have (or are, or will be soon starting) self exploration.
And Y6 curriculum definitely will have something on human reproduction.

So - I'd say there are two things I'd do in your place.
One is practical - a lock, or agree with H on the better timing of activities.

Two - figure out how, what and when to start having some sort of The Talk with your son. Because if you don't - his friends will soon.

I have a 10yo D and there is a great book for girls describing general changes that girls go through in becoming adult women. Emotional, physical, etc. Sex is only a tiny part of it. But for us with her it was a good way to start. She is not interested in that aspect - but it aware of its existence in the adult world.

NotAPuffin · 01/08/2017 12:04

Don't have sex in a shared area of the house while there are other people in, that's awful.

Brahms3rdracket · 01/08/2017 14:37

Really @Notapuffin? It's a married couple having second in their house, at night, while they thought ds is asleep upstairs. Please keep clutching your pearls tight Hmm.

Op I really wouldn't sorry too much and wouldn't say anything unless ds asks or mentions it. He will know what was going on and be embarrassed enough, but not harmed in the slightest.

Incidentally, my dd aged 9 walked in on me and dp a while ago. We were unfortunately out of the duvet doing it doggy style at the time. We moved so quickly we must have been a flesh-coloured blur. She asked if daddy was giving me a massage when I returned her to her bedroom, so I just agreed. She's never mentioned it again, but has stopped coming into our bedroom during the night.

Original poster
Redcliff · 01/08/2017 14:57

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond as I was freaking out last night - we had a chat this morning which went OK and a lock is going to be ordered! DH and I have also talked about later in the evening would be better for such things.

OP posts:
Stressalot42 · 02/08/2017 02:42

Don't have sex in a shared area of the house while there are other people in, that's awful

^^ Hmmreally!?!?

OP, let it lie now and just blow over! Lots of parents have had this!

parrotseatemall · 02/08/2017 05:27

When our kids got old enough to be a bit aware, DH realised it was putting me off and resulting in less sex, so one might he got up in frustration, went to his shed for tools and installed a basic bolt lock at the top of the bedroom door.

It's so much more relaxing now being able to lock it and not worry if a child will walk in.

It's quite hard when they're old enough to stay up to 9/10 at night and you want to go to bed around the same time. Not like when they're tiny and you get adult time from 7pm onwards.

crunched · 03/08/2017 01:58

I think it is a positive for our DC to know that their parents enjoy a loving relationship. I have teens and I would rather they are aware DH and I can be physical together- however gross that seems to them- than the way sex is often portrayed by the media.
As PP have said, at 10 your DS will be beginning to put his own ideas on how relationships work, and yours sounds to be working well. He is also old enough to respect shut doors and private space as I'm sure you respect his boundaries.
Sorry, I have made a clunky explanation but hope my drift emerges Confused

MikeUniformMike · 03/08/2017 02:19

If asked, I would be fairly honest but only to the point that you and DH sometimes need a bit of privacy. No need to go into detail.

AdalindSchade · 07/08/2017 20:08

Seriously though you can't fuck in the living room when your kids are awake! Fine to do it after they are in bed and asleep but you need to be sure!

SleepingStandingUp · 07/08/2017 22:38

What time of day was it and where did you think DS was?

Don't have sex in a shared area of the house while there are other people in, that's awful
So that's no parents allowed to have sex with kids in the house, no sex in student halls or shared accomodation, no sex in houses where you rent a room. Right

NotAPuffin · 08/08/2017 10:19

Not in a shared area, no. Is it such a big deal to keep it to a bedroom? If I were living in a rented room I'd prefer to think other people hadn't been shagging on the communal couches!

SleepingStandingUp · 08/08/2017 10:59

I totally read it wrong.

Read it as not in a shared house.

Apologies

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