Lack of intimacy in marriage

[complexsimplicity]

Married nearly ten years and for as long I can remember during the marriage there's been very little intimacy. After a while, I accepted it as being in a comfortable marriage, but quite honestly, I think I've subtly been seeking attention elsewhere - in the likes of an ex.

I've not cheated, and don't think I would, but I feel desperately lonely and resent him deeply for it. In all honestly, we're probably not very compatible despite loving each other.

We're talking intimacy a few times a year and mostly once he's stumbled home drunk.

Complex - I'm going away with work soon, to a place A Long Way Away, where I used to live and have a lovely ex there.

Sorely tempted to meet up - it's 25 years since we went out and I have zero interest in having an affair, but, I'd really love to catch up and hear how everyone we hung out with are doing....

You can't help how you feel stealth it sounds awful and yes I understand your worries about him leaving/you leaving/logistics etc for the kids. It's tough but I hope one day you do what makes you happy.
Your plan to meet up sounds great.... but WHAT IF your old ex made a move? are you strong enough to resist? would you want to resist? It's not about the actual physical act of sex for me (tis nice and all that :) ) but it's more about feeling attractive and wanted etc as well as the connection, good hormone side too.

Stealth, ex and I went to school together so, similarly, would be good to hear how everyone is getting on...

Hubby asked if he could come back to our bedroom. There was some progress on the intimacy front but now I feel like the change only came because I had complained for so long. Just as crap a situation tbh