After a baby

[Polgaraisbloodylate]

How/when/where?

Our son is nine months and our sex life is still on hold.

How do you get it back?

Allow yourself to revert back to dw mode and not dm mode. .
Date night, no talking about the baby!!
Do something for yourself on the night - nails, hair, new outfit, maybe undies as bf bra /suck in pants are dm- wear! Anything that make a you feel refreshed! Remember why you married him/love him!!

It was a long long time for me after DC1; probably 9 months or so. The birth was awful and DC1 just didn't sleep. I also had stitches and was terrified something would happen down there.

I think the best thing is not to put pressure on yourself and think you need to do it. Try to relax and see where things lead to. The are no rules and you must just do what feels right for you.

Good luck, relax and have fun and may be some 🍷

But how do you get round to doing it? My son is ebf and wakes every two hours at night. Do you all just get on with it and hope they don't wake up? What do you do if they do wake? Stop, go and see to your baby and then pick up where you left off?

Rather confused

We were back in the sack at 3 weeks to regular sex. For us it is a priority and really important to us so we made sure we made time for it. I had a second degree tear but it was fine.

Just do it even with a baby in the room they genuinely don't wake.... personally I need to feel that closeness ..

Following DS1 me and DH didn't have sex for about 13 months. Maybe it was the breast feeding every two hours for 10 months that put me off alongside the absolute exhaustion but sex wasn't on my radar at all.

When DS was 10 months old I put him in his own room and sleep trained him and it meant me and DH started to get our evenings back. At this point we'd also been in separate bedrooms for about 4 months due to me needing to co-sleep and feed constantly throughout the night so obviously that hadn't helped matters either.

When DS was 12 months old I was starting to feel more human and after sorting out contraception we were able to start having sex again after 13 months. It felt very odd.

I was still breast feeding DS and if I'm honest this still dulled my sex drive for a very long time. I see to be the one with the higher sex drive in our marriage but things changed after DS came along.

I breast fed for 2.5 years and if I'm honest, during that whole period I never had any strong urges for sex. I enjoyed it when we did it (still infrequently) but I never deeply 'wanted' it.

When I stopped breast feeding altogether after the 2.5 years I felt my sex drive start to normalise but then I fell pregnant within 8 weeks and so the cycle starts again

The baby is due in 4 weeks and I think my DH is expecting a similar sex draught this time too.....as am I!

Two weeks with all of them (very gently as I have had four c-sections). We just did what ever we could, whenever we could (often settling baby down and then dashing to another room, as PP said).

I have a very high sex drive, and for me, it wasn't about rushing to the end, just about being close with DH.

Six weeks with all three after the doctors check up. Bit painful but not too bad. Did it in the living room when all 3 asleep. Always just a quickie as the twins could wake up any second. Alternatively first thing in the morning before they woke up. Again another quickie. Gets longer as they reliably sleep longer and you can relax more. It would feel odd for us to go months without it. Even though it wasn't great it was better than not. Also lots of kisses and cuddles in the day too help with the closeness.

We started again when DC was 6 months. We plan in advance and get to it as soon as DC is tucked up in bed. We usually use the living room so there's a decent bit of distance from the baby! Trying to get back into a regular pattern but not always easy. I'm still BF and sometimes we're interrupted by the baby waking and that generally puts an end to that night's shenanigans. Make sure you have lube if your BF! X