Is this an age problem or is it me?

[tenpoletudor]

Many years ago I had an amazing relationship, inc the best sex I've ever had, but we split up. I was young and pretty and slim back then.

We met again last year and have got together again (long distance, so about once a month due to practical constraints).
He gets an erection and we have PI but he softens after a while.
I think it's fine (all sorts of ways to have fun :) but he is upset.

But I have not been able to make him come which I am sad about.
I am older (48) and no longer slim and am really worried this is the problem.

He is 67 and has had little sex for the last decade though I suspect he uses porn a lot.

Is it me? He says not but I am worried.
If it was me would he just not get hard at all?
Would Viagra help? (he would never speak to anyone about it)

Initially I found the realisation that I needed a to use ED medication quite emasculating.

The term impotence is synonymous weakness and lacking ability, and while most of us prefer the less loaded term erectile dysfunction they are the same thing.

Once I managed to get over that and try sildenifil I found it gave me the rigidity I had as a teenager but without the "quick fire" problem!

If he could see exploring the possibility of using meds as no more sinister than vitamins and supplements that might get over the issues. It's a shame he would rather put up with getting upset when there are possible solutions.

Harmless can I get Sildenifil for him online or does he need to do it?
(he'd never do it, but if I offered it to him he might?)
He is struggling to admit he is aging (wont use his specs etc) so this is all part of it I think.

Man you can get cockrings from vending machines?
He has one, by his bed, and showed me how he puts it on.
I didnt quite get it so not wanting to look stupid have not suggested it. Maybe I should ask him to show me again? (dont care about looking stupid and it might be fun?)

Sometimes.... or Amazon

Durex Play Ring Vibrations https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B000KHRG3W/ref=cmswwrcppapi_Qn4zzbMZW2V0W

Get one "for yourself" ?

It's a prescription drug, so no he would have to run through the health related questionnaire which you have to complete to obtain a private prescription online, it's the same check list a GP would run through. Some medicine is contra indicated (nitrate based), there are some side effect warnings (I get nasal congestion sometimes but a nasal spray sorts that) and for some reason you can't eat grapefruit!!

Not saying a partner has never bought it for their OH but you shouldn't.

IME ED can be a psychological problem that has a potential to ruin things and to get worse and worse as sex becomes something associated with anxiety and worry. For me, I can experience ED when being with someone new, before I really feel completely relaxed and intimate with that person. There is nothing at all physically wrong with me and the problem disappears further down the line.
However, as mentioned above viagra can really help with this, it completely removes the anxiety about being able to perform so I can just concentrate on giving and receiving pleasure instead of worrying. In addition it feels like being about 19 again which is great - also good for stamina. Conversely because I know I can use it if needed, it actually removes the performance anxiety and sort of resolves the initial ED problem. So yes definitely I would recommend it but ethically he must complete the health questionnaire. I think you need to speak to him honestly - if he is crying about it it is obviously a big deal to him.

UPDATE:

IT IS NO LONGER A PROBLEM

(no drugs needed, it was just a confidence thing, now all sorted I am extremely happy to say :)