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Original poster

Stupidly had unprotected sex - what now?

16 replies

Ihavebeenstupid · 20/06/2017 19:50

I stupidly had unprotected sex with the guy I've been seeing last night and am now regretting it. I went all of my teenage years, twenties and early thirties refusing point blank to even consider such an idea and being firm about it not happening whenever it was proposed and I have no idea what possessed me. I was clearly in a strange mood. My period had finished 2 days before and my cycle is usually only 21 days. He pulled out before he came but there's clearly still a pregnancy risk. How big is it? Should I take the morning after pill?

I'm more concerned about STDs to be honest though. He says he has only had unprotected sex with 2 people in the past, one of them a long term partner. Can I get checked out at my GP or do I have to go to one of those specialist places? Had to go to one of them for something before and it was a bit of a nightmare as there isn't one in my town and it's difficult getting to the place. Own fault obviously. Not looking for sympathy, just advice.

OP posts:

SloeGinRocks · 20/06/2017 19:53

MAP is a good idea if you don't want a baby. You can get it in the chemist over the counter.

ImperialBlether · 20/06/2017 19:53

I'd definitely get the MAP tomorrow. I'd get it tonight if there's a pharmacy open near you.

Then better to be safe, get an STD test.

WonderWhippet · 20/06/2017 19:53

I would go to a local GUM clinic and get tested and ask for the MAP. I appreciate there isn't one close to you but you can kill two birds with one stone as it were.

Failing that, I would get the MAP this evening from a pharmacy.

Scribblegirl · 20/06/2017 19:56

For me:

Priority: MAP asap. Late night chemist if you have one/can.

Next: Search for a sexual health clinic near you. IMO GPs are crap at this. Find your nearest, book in. Be aware you will need to go twice due to incubation period for some STIs.

Finally: Don't panic. People do this all the time and are usually disease free and not pregnant. Don't judge yourself or blame. You made a bad decision - that you likely won't ever again - forgive yours f and move on

Scribblegirl · 20/06/2017 19:57

*yourseld

Scribblegirl · 20/06/2017 19:57

Oh for goodness sake this phone. yourself

Original poster

Ihavebeenstupid · 20/06/2017 20:00

Wow! Thanks for the quick advice and non-judgement! I don't have a late night pharmacy anywhere nearby but I'll go tomorrow asap.

And I'll get myself booked in to a a GUM place thought it's a bit of a nightmare. Has to be done. Thanks again!

OP posts:

monkeyfacegrace · 20/06/2017 20:03

I'd not be too worried personally. We've used withdrawal for years, your chance of pregnancy is very slim. But it's a gamble I guess.

Rioja123 · 20/06/2017 20:06

The longer you leave it the less effective the MAP.

pottered · 20/06/2017 20:06

yeah me too with withdrawal - but i'm on the fence about another baby - if I definitely didn't want one, or there was a risk I wouldn't want one, I'd MAP. Better safe than sorry. And check for STDs to be on the safe side. Are you secretly wanting a baby? I ask because I'm wondering why now, it's worth being honest with yourself about your goals.

silkpyjamasallday · 20/06/2017 22:17

I got pregnant when we were using the withdrawal method, so if you don't want a baby get the MAP as soon as possible, the sooner you take it the more effective it is. Probably go and get STD tested too as if this guy is keen on unprotected sex you can bet he will have been doing so with others who will be doing so with others and so on so the risk is high.

Original poster

Ihavebeenstupid · 21/06/2017 01:54

Yeah, I'm worried about that. He suggested it the 2nd time we had sex and I said no way and then only a week or two later I've had a moment of madness. I most definitely do not want a baby at this point in my life.

I think part of what's made me a bit less cautious was that a lot of my friends have had babies now and know more about conception and I've been surprised to learn that there are only a few days a month when it's even possible to get pregnant (that's what they've told me any way - they're bright and educated and I presume picked up this information when trying for babies themselves; or maybe they knew it from school but it's only coming up in conversation now - I didn't do any biology at all beyond a 2 week module at age 12 or so). I was half hoping it just wouldn't be possible given my cycle but I don't know enough about it for this to have been a calculated risk. It was just a bad decision.

What I really worry about though are the STIs with no cure. And the long term ex he had unprotected sex with cheated on him and from a comment he made I don't think he got tested afterwards. That surprised me because he's very bright and well educated and looks after his health well in other ways. Utter stupidity mixed with naivety on my part. And yet I wasn't this stupid and naive the first time this happened when I was 17.

OP posts:

TDHManchester · 22/06/2017 21:56

Maybe you should both have sti tests then have an honest conversation?

GoldenOrb · 22/06/2017 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

adriennewillfly · 21/07/2017 21:14

We got pregnant the first time we had sex after I went off the pill. Go get the MAP

NorthernLurker · 22/07/2017 00:21

It's a month later. Bit past the time for the MAP!

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