Sex suddenly shit and don't know how to make it better

[RainbowBriteRules]

Been with DH forever, we have sex twice a week or so. About 6 months ago I rediscovered my sex drive (posted about it on here), bought a vibrator and started to love sex.

Over the last month or so my sex drive has fallen off a cliff. Don't know why. No new contraception, no additional stress etc. The only thing I can think of is I haven't used my vibrator in over a month as have had no free time entirely on my own to do so. Don't even really miss it anymore.

Just had a thoroughly rubbish attempt at sex. Don't even get that turned on by foreplay any more, DH didn't want to carry on as I was clearly not enjoying it . TBH I would rather watch telly.

Have tried to just do it more so I would enjoy it but I just find I am bored (obviously I hide this!) and can't orgasm whatever DH does.

Help! Is there any hope?

Bump

Are you still sexually attracted to your DH?

I found myself getting bored during sex when I used to enjoy it, I just wanted it to be over. It was because I just didn't fancy my DP anymore. I finished with him soon after realising this, and the thought of having sex with him kind of repulsed me.

Yes, that's the thing, I am. Our relationship is by no means perfect - we have youngish children, house is a mess, argue over discipline etc. But I am still attracted to him. TBH Tom Hardy could walk through the door and I think I would want to but 5 or 10 mins would be enough!

Could you introduce your vibrator into sex with your DH?
Have you spoken to him about it? Would date nights or him doing more around the house, with the children help?

Do you get turned on by his excitement?

Maybe that's the key? Some finger play around his areas, will send him mental & you may get carried along with it

Emboo, he doesn't know I have one, ridiculous to be embarrassed I know . Also I kind of like the fact it is just for me ifswim.

Spoke to him about it last night, think he feels we should have long romantic sex sessions but I'd be happy with something much quicker. Hard to explain that without sounding like a bitch!

TheNaze, I suppose a bit. Worth a try I suppose.

Definitely use a vibrator during sex, it will help you orgasm. Sex is enjoyable without one yes, but soooooo much better when you have one too!

You could try instigating sex outside of the bedroom, I find the shower and kitchen tends to lead to the quickest sex! Or maybe building it up a bit before with naughty texts, telling what you want him to do or how you want it.

Don't worry about telling him you want something quicker though! I think the quickie is really underrated!!
Also I'm not the biggest fan of long drawn out sessions.

Ok, might bite the bullet with the vibrator.

We are rubbish with quickies, always have been. I had vaginismus in the past and still find it hard to be relaxed enough down there without a bit of foreplay. He takes a while to come (having spoken to him I suspect it is the fact that for years he tried to last ages thinking this is what women want - so frustrating- and now finds it difficult to come quickly).

We have more success in the morning but not always practical with DC .

all the messages men get about sex tell them that the longer they last, the better.

Devil, yes! It really annoys me!! Especially when they are young and then that is what they grow up thinking. Well we had a chat and ate makjng more of an effort to have sex when actually in the mood rather than feeling obliged to and not really being that up for it.

I think we just can't manage quickies (tried last night and I am just not relaxed enough to get straight into it!) but will try to relax about the whole thing.

good luck ever convincing your guy you want him to hurry up though.

I think PIV sex gets boring after 10 mins, but that's a discussion for another thread maybe.

Yes, I have been honest and told him I'd like it much quicker but then he just feels pressured! 10 mins would be plenty . I think he does finally realise now that at least he doesn't need to try to last as long as possible.

Detaching yourself and switching to oral could be a neat way to speed things up once you're bored.