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Right thing to do?

11 replies

newrelationshipdilemma · 19/05/2017 01:05

I'm in a new relationship (2 months) and we've been having some sex issues - the first being that my new partner is fairly small and the second that he can't sustain an erection during penetrative sex (which he attributes to pain).
He has assured me that he will see his GP and get the pain issue sorted (his suggestion - no pressure from me), but I'm scared that even with it sorted he might still be too small for us to have satisfying penetration. If this were the case I'm honestly not sure if I could stay in the relationship because it's something I enjoy very much.
My dilemma is what to do - is it fair to wait and see if he can get his pain problem sorted and then try again (knowing that it still might not be good anyway) or as I am already feeling this way should I end the relationship now before either of us gets too involved? He seems to be a genuinely nice guy so I really don't want to use/hurt him.

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TheNaze73 · 19/05/2017 07:36

You're only 2 months in, you have no ties & barely know him. It'll constantly be a source of annoyance, so get out now

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0dfod · 19/05/2017 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerOtherHalf · 19/05/2017 17:09

For all you know he could end up waiting years for a medical solution and it might never get any better. Unless you care about him enough to live with that I'd be moving on, if I were you, before you get more involved.

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newrelationshipdilemma · 20/05/2017 00:23

The big problem is that, this issue aside, I think that he might be right for me in most other aspects. It's making deciding what to do all the more difficult as I am concerned I could be ending a potentially really good relationship over something that might be fixable.
I guess there is an issue of how long I can wait and see if there is a medical solution. Perhaps I should just decide to give it a set amount of time (6 months?) and review then? At least then I'd be able to relax and enjoy the other aspects of our relationship without worrying about this all the time Sad

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newrelationshipdilemma · 20/05/2017 00:24

Sorry I meant to say thank you for your replies too xx

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Empireoftheclouds · 20/05/2017 00:28

I don't think penis length has ever been a decider for me Hmm

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Shitalopram · 20/05/2017 00:35

I don't think it's fair to reduce the OP to judging on penis size - it seems more about sexual dysfunction to me.

After 2 months I would want to feel a huge spark with someone in order to weather a quest to solve something like this. Unless you're crazy about him, continuing could cause a lot of pain for you both.

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Empireoftheclouds · 20/05/2017 00:40

don't think it's fair to reduce the OP to judging on penis size - it seems more about sexual dysfunction to me. notnreally. She said if he got the erectile dysfunction sorted he might still be too small for us to have satisfying penetration.

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Shitalopram · 20/05/2017 00:47

I still think OP is being honest and fair. We all have different anatomies and associated compatibilities.

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newrelationshipdilemma · 20/05/2017 10:15

Empire it's not the penis length per se, but that if as a consequence I would have a fulfilling sex life. I see it the same way as someone who couldn't be in a relationship with who would never do oral for example. For me, penetrative sex is not only physically satisfying, but has an intimacy that I don't feel can be replicated with other sex acts. It's an important part of the relationship.

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newrelationshipdilemma · 20/05/2017 10:16

Thanks Shitalopram Smile

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