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Advice on being more dominant

8 replies

friendshipstruggle · 01/05/2017 20:24

I need a few tips please. I have a fwb I've been seeing for around 7 months. We meet up every couple of weeks when he's in the area and the sex is totally mindblowing. We've talked a bit about experimenting with toys more (not something I've ever done with a partner before). He's mentioned the thought of me dominating him turns him on.
So I've bitten the bullet and ordered some ties for the bed, an Ann summers moregasm cock ring and some very kinky underwear. I'm seeing him Saturday, and I need some tips please. How do I pull off the dominant role? What do I do to him once he's tied up? Help! I want it to be good for him because he's always so eager to please me.

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Guiltypleasures001 · 04/05/2017 15:36

Ok I'll bite

Blind fold him, put some tea spoons in the freezer half a dozen or so, and gradually touch parts of his body with one until you get to his squidge bits 😱

Once he's thrashing around like a gooden, leave him for say 10 mins but let him hear you moving around
His mind will be working overtime at this point. Then mouth full of warm tea/coffee listerine for a laugh 😵 and blow job, don't let him cum at all though.

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friendshipstruggle · 04/05/2017 20:20

Thanks for replying. I'm nervous because we've talked about tying each other up but not actually done it. And I've bought a bodice with stockings and suspenders but I'm slightly overweight and not sure if I just look totally ridiculous. I always buy similar underwear because I know what I look good in, this is out of my comfort zone.
After 10 years boring/non existent sex with my ex husband this is just so much fun and I want to take the lead this time and blow his mind.
Thanks for some of the tips, I will use them.

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Gentlygrowingoldermale · 06/05/2017 08:14

Op, I realise this may be too late, but we've been away.

First do not worry about your lumps and bumps – I doubt he'll worry too much!

I suggest you start by sending him upstairs to get the bed ready, get his clothes off, lie in whatever position you need him in. Your'e in control.

Give him waiting time, and be fully clothed when you blindfold and tie him. Tie and tease. Be soft, be hard, you do have nails. Cup his balls in your hand and see how much he can take. Those dangly bits can take a lot more than is realised.

Following on from Guilty, whisper in his ear, I'm getting changed. Make sure he can hear.

Lots of whispering in his ear as things progress, suffering/pain before pleasure, etc.

Use two hands on his erection as if you were using a pepper pot.

You'll be nervous at the start, so will he, use your imagination and enjoy the journey. I'm sure it'll be worth it.

Oh, if he makes too much noise, stuff your knickers in his mouth! Good luck.

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friendshipstruggle · 07/05/2017 18:27

Thanks for the replies, it was nowhere near as nerve wracking as I thought. He could get enough so I did some thing right ;-)

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Guiltypleasures001 · 07/05/2017 19:23

Obviously we need a diagram 😜

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Destinysdaughter · 07/05/2017 19:29

The book, The Loving Dominant is good, as is The Mistress Manual. Also, try and ascertain what your partner's fantasies are, get them to write them down for you, as every sub's desires are different. Paradoxically, the role of a good Dom is actually quite submissive as what you are trying to do is to get inside the head of your sub, tease out their deepest, darkest desires and make their fantasies a reality...

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friendshipstruggle · 07/05/2017 21:22

Thanks for the book recs, I'll have a read. Last night was just incredible and any ideas to keep that up are very welcome!

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Gentlygrowingoldermale · 08/05/2017 16:31

Decide if this is going to be an occasional thing or every time you meet.

Further ideas for now. Spread eagle him across the bed, on his back but head hanging over the edge. That will add tension to his body and will heighten it for him.

Erect penis, imagine it's a bar of soap and 'wash' your hands.

And/or drag foreskin down hard with one hand and use the palm of the other to rub the head – painful, certainly, exquisite pleasure also.

Give it ten strokes (up and down is one) very slowly, then ten very fast, ten slow and so on until you decide when to stop. Good luck.

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