No sex since August 2016

[NosexwereBritish]

I am in a very happy and supportive relationship. Like most new relationships for the first 2 or 3 years this was adventurous and enthusiastic. The frequency tailed off to the point of it hardly happening at all. Not because of kids or work or anything, just suddenly a claim of low sexual drive and 'the thought never occurs'.
I love DP very much. But have just had a lovely weeks holiday, with nothing more than a chaste kiss and cuddle.
I have everything I ever wanted in this relationship but sex and without this I feel so sad and rejected. There is reassurance and an air of injured 'it's not my fault'. I cannot lie. I resent it.
How do I turn on that former excitement, I have no idea what we did to loose it and now I feel very lost.
Talking about it just makes DP, cross and there is even less effort to show any kind of physical closeness, even cuddles.
Getting desperate.

How old are you? (Not that it matters really) He won't talk about it and withholds further affection? You should think about leaving. No sex will lead to resentment.

Tricky I am nearly 60, affection is not really withheld, more that DP just retreats until I come around of my own accord, rather like a mood that passes. This has led to resentment but on balance this person is my soul mate, except in this one regard.
Do I just have to put up with it/ DIY

A committed, loving relationship should fulfill both people in all major areas. There is nothing wrong for sex to be important to you and it is unacceptable for him not to acknowledge that, discuss it openly and work towards a resolution. If he is not prepared to, then i think you would be quite entitled to give him an ultimatum and consider ending the relationship. If he has medical or psychological problems he can seek help. At least if you knew the root cause, and that he was making an effort, you might be able to rationalise staying together, but him sticking his head in the sand suggests he just doesn't care enough about what you need.

Over the years I have suggested counselling together, or separately, we have talked at length and often. I have pointed out that by just sticking the proverbial head in the sand that leaves DP ok and me not. All that is acknowledged and understood or DP just goes defensive. Arguments, don't work, reasoned argument doesn't and me taking the lead doesn't. I would not consider ending this as I am in love and I am sure of DP's love, it just doesn't get physical.

Is he a similar age to you? Have the two of you considered the possibility of hormonal changes being the cause of his tanked libido - declining testosterone and/or increased oestrogen specifically? Might be worth you googling the symptoms of andropause (male menopause) and seeing how many apply. It can be tested for and treated, though admittedly there is a huge variance in awareness and understanding of andropause and treatments with NHS GPs. There are also various lifestyle changes that can really help depending on the individual.

Thanks, but DP 20 years younger....

No advice sadly but have you thought of having this moved to relationships? I think you'll get far more advice there