Psychological trauma/mental barrier following child birth resulting in poor libido

[muldoon01]

9 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Unfortunately the delivery was very traumatic as I required an episiotomy, which was quickly followed by haemorrhaging!
The healing process was long and painful, not helped by a Pseudomonas infection. Eventually I tried having sex again, It was very uncomfortable and scary, but did become easier. Basically since giving birth 9 years ago I have a suffered with low libido/desire and I believe that it could be related to the fact that I now associate sex with pain?! 9 years on sex is no longer painful, just uncomfortable at times. I saw a doctor on Friday to check that I am ok down below, and it appears that there may be some damage, so she has referred me to gynaecology. My question is how do I break this psychological barrier? Sex therapy isn't available on the NHS in my area and NHS psychological therapies do not work with sexual health difficulties. I have looked at relate which unfortunately is something I can't afford (£60 per hr!) has anyone got any advice?

Sex therapy is probably the best option tbh, if you definitely can't afford a few sessions maybe try just playing with yourselves together rather than full on sex for a while?-try putting the fun back into it.

It's worth making an initial assessment appointment with Relate. If I remember right this is free. If you can't afford the full fees you they should offer you a substantial discount based on your income. Good luck

A long shot, but have you checked if you can get anything through your employer? My employer, and I believe it's quite common nowadays, subscribes to an employee support scheme that offers various services such as legal advice, consumer rights, and also counselling. I got 12 sessions of counselling through it a few years ago and it didn't cost me a penny. It also covers my immediate dependent family I believe so even if your employer doesn't offer it your partner's might.

Poor you. Not helpful on the cost front but I had a similar thing (although resulted from scarring following a procedure) and after a good 3 years of pain/ low libido it was resolved by 3 sessions of hypnotherapy which broke the psychological barrier. Good luck