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New partner and body insecurities after children

3 replies

LeonoraCora · 02/02/2017 19:07

I have slept with 2 people in my life. My husband and one partner after him (female).

I have had several children and my body is a wreck basically. They were all huge babies and I am still 2 stone overweight and have a HUGE over hang. I am riddled with stretchmarks and not the cute few on the tummy, I mean everywhere. From my arms to my calves.

It's really bad.

I never got naked in front of my husband though with my girlfriend I had a little more confidence, she too was a mother and wasn't 'perfect' and she openly enjoyed a fuller figure.

I'm now talking to someone online and she is very nice. I know it's early days but she seems keen, I like her, we are planning to meet and I'm already worrying about my body. She is older than me but slimmer and never had children so I'm sure she has a lovely figure.

How can I put this out of my mind and enjoy myself :(

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LeonoraCora · 02/02/2017 20:32

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Happybunny19 · 03/02/2017 16:17

I assume if you've been chatting for a while and are planning to meet up you've also exchanged photos. If so, she will already know you're a little larger. You're worrying yourself too much. It's unlikely you will have your first intimate moment in bright daylight, so you could dim the lights, have a glass of wine to help you relax and enjoy getting to know each other.

For what it's worth I don't think it makes any difference what you look like for the first time getting naked in front of someone. When I first got down and dirty with dp, many, many years ago, I was a tiny size 8, had no children and still hid away under the covers. I have a much healthier fuck it attitude in my old age.

Hope you have fun and enjoy the experience if you hit it off.

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NotTheFordType · 05/02/2017 11:40

Wait til you've met at least once (because it might turn out you don't fancy her and don't want to date anyway.)

If the first date goes well and you want to take things forward, talk to her about your insecurities with your body and just see what she says. If you get a bad vibe then bin her off. If she sounds empathetic, accepting and like she doesn't give a shit about your wobbly bits, then crack on!

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