Guilt, and how to get over it

[Kelsoooo]

So, sexually I am really quite adventurous. My husband is fully supportive, we have a very loving relationship. Very affectionate and tactile.
For a bit of background, I have a personality disorder, I had a rough teenage years. Me and my husband have been together for nearly 8 years. We are a team in everything, and none of this comes from him.

So my question.

How do I stop feeling guilty, repulsed by myself even, after we've done something new and "kinky" . Even when I suggest we try something, I still feel the same after.

It can sometimes happen after loving, intimate sex. The romantic, slow burning kind.

So I guess it's sex in general. I hate feeling like this after, it makes me wary to push further. When he initiates something a bit more "out there" it's only after he has carefully weighed the situation, determined how I am emotionally in general.....

Basically, only after he's acted like a loving and supportive partner.

How can I overcome this ridiculous feeling of guilt and repulsion?

Just to add: This feeling is worse when I've really enjoyed it.

It's such a shame that guilt gets in the way of letting you enjoy sex.
I'm quite sure that this is far more common in women than it is in men. There's this pressure that you must be some kind of dirty slut to do any more than weekly missionary.
I don't know how you let go of it but I hope you are able to. You're obviously having a fantastic time, you deserve the pleasure it brings.

Not sure if the same same, but Cavewoman was very shy and slightly guilty about enjoying sex (which was a problem because we both like sex a lot). Nearly 20 years ago while experimenting with BDSM we hit on the answer. She does not like pain, is not fussed by bondage, but being controlled and sexually available REALLY floats her boat. So she handed over consent to me. Since then I have taken control so to speak and she is available (for the want of a better word) 24/7. She has no guilt because she is doing what I tell her to do, even when we are pushing the boundaries. Since then we have had many great adventures as well as normal vanilla sex.

Sounds like a good solution Caveman

Me and DH do something similar caveman.
We're not into BDSM so much but when we hit on something I like (and he can tell from my reaction), he gives instructions and I know longer feel the guilt I used to.

Disclaimer - this only works if you have complete trust and because DH knows me so well. We have tried things that we both thought I liked and then didn't. I didn't even get as far as asking him to stop, he could feel it and stopped immediately

True Baubles, it's trust, communication and being "in tune". We can tell if something isn't working.

Also although I said I am in control, that doesn't mean it's all my ideas, Cavewoman will show me articles, discuss things she has heard/seen. Then she leaves it to me to do some research and then to start to play.

I think something resonates with your mind in relation to your troubled past, not an issue with sex itself.

I was raised Catholic and always expected my sex life would start after I married, and then only for procreation. For a long time I felt I was 'giving it up' or 'submitting' to a partner. After my almost celibate marriage (my ex turned out to be gay) broke down I did a lot of thinking about it, and came to the conclusion that we, particularly women, can have an awful, self defeating view of sex. I want to teach my own daughter that sex is warm, and hot, and exciting, and nourishing. It is great for our health - great exercise, quality sleep inducing, intimacy supporting - and great for relationships - my DP feels loved, wanted and desired, as do I. Anything that is done with joy, excitement, and fervour is something to be cherished, not to feel ashamed about it. Don't get me wrong - I don't want her having sex with losers for the sake of it, but I think that being aware of, and owning your sexuality, is a powerful thing.