Male perspective needed please!

[TessMcNess]

Hi. Started seeing a guy a month ago and the sex is fantastic, best ever. He spends hours on me and I have lots of orgasms - lots of squirting, and I means lots So sorry if TMI.

I am worried because he rarely reaches orgasm. I try everything I can think of and we have lots of penetrative sex and oral but he just can't seem to get there.

He says he doesn't mind, he gets more than enough pleasure from pleasing me, but I'm worried he'll get bored and fed up.

Any suggestions or advice please? Thank you.

Well with all that squirting there's probably too much lubrication and not enough friction!!

No real answers. I had a girl friend who never had an orgasm with me even though i tried my best. Sometimes its just the way it is.

Give it time.

I thought the same; it's too wet down there! I try really hard not to orgasm, but can't help it.

Thanks for your words marbles - I just hope he's patient enough to wait.

I had this with my now wife, and I found that it was more of a performance anxiety. It's great that he's spending so much time pleasing you because I'm of a similar ilk I love nothing more than when my wife is having plenty of orgasms!
Just give it some time, I think it was the 8th or 9th time we had sex before I was able to cum.

Have you tried anything else to help him along?

Thank you daddy, that's good to hear as that is what he says. I try oral, although after ten mins my jaw gives up on me, and my hand, but I don't seem to get it right. Feels a little as I've always been told I'm really good in the past. Not a boast, nust trying to get some idea as to why I'm getting it wrong this time.

Your prob not getting it wrong Tess! But the same applies to men as does women what one likes another may not, just talk to him and see what he likes, some like it wetter some prefer more friction but most of all don't make an issue out of the fact he can't cum it will put more pressure on him and yourself! Relax sex is fun it will all fall into place I'm sure

I somewhat find this hard to believe, as all the guys usually finish way easier than women. Could it be he's taking some medication that is messing up his ability to orgasm?

I'm female, but thought I'd add something!
Don't focus on it, he says he's fine with it, and you sound like you are having a great time. Relax and enjoy it, and if it happens, it happens.

I'd guess performance anxiety as well. First few times I'm with someone I'm concentrating so hard on not coming early I can't come at all. Usually settles down once I'm more confident about successfully satisfying her.

I really wouldn't worry at the moment. It sounds like you are both enjoying it so give it time. As you get to know each other a bit better and relax more, I'm sure he'll be find.

Prostate massage?

He's probably wanking too much/ too hard and needs to "retrain" himself. Or he needs porn to get off.

Sadly very common these days

I don't think so truffle, I did ask and he said no, appreciate that might not be the truth though.

thenaze how could I broach that, I'm thinking I'd have to ask first rather than just go for it?

Thank you all so much for your comments, you have certainly put my mind at ease. For now anyway!

This has happened to me before, try a handjob with loads of lube.

Depends OP. Ask him if anything is off limits & sound him out. Good luck.
Also agree with havea about the lube/oil. That can be better than some blokes than oral

Well as a chap been with my wife a long time so we are very comfy and open. I have to lend a helping hand my self while she performs oral we are then both happy with the out come. As I have the same problem as your gentleman.

Have you tried 'lighting a fire' technique with your hands?

Sit to the side of your DP, use loads of lube, then don't grip him but with flat palms you rub you his penis as if it was a stick you were trying to rub to start a fire (iygwim) really vigorously, moving your hands from his base to the tip and back again, pressing your palms together quite hard, eventually concentrating around the tip.

This always works on my DP when he's having problems coming with piv.

Thanks springtime, I'll give that a go!

I'm a man. From personal experience, I would say.

1. Please don't make too big a deal of it. It's not the be all and end all, and can just make everyone feel terribly anxious and flustered if it doesn't happen. If he says it's OK, it's OK.
2. That he has normal blood pressure. My erections got worse as I put on weight and my blood pressure crept up. A classic cause, apparently.
3. Enough rest.
4. Each to their own, but that fire thing sounds a bit brutal. You can rip a foreskin with things like that.

My DH would definitely not like that lighting a fire thing - sounds quite horrific actually!
He does like lots of lube and two hands, but far more gently.

As others have said, i wouldnt worry too much about it. When you have had enough pleasure you could use techniques to urge him on. Try talking dirty to him ,read down and hold his balls, squeeze them gently, massage is perineum and if you are feeling really naughty, luba finger,slide it in and milk his prostate. If he doesnt shoot then,,well check for a pulse.

Over wet and anxiety says it all