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Original poster

Need a lot of stimulation

17 replies

JustHenrietta · 03/12/2016 16:42

I've never been able to come from piv sex which I know is pretty normal but I am a bit frustrated with my own sexual responses and not sure how common it is to need as much stimulation on the clitoris as I do. I need a very firm touch but not actual friction on the skin which can be quite sore. It's more of a firm pressure and movement but not too much rubbing the skin itself more...moving the area? Blush That's how I masturbate anyway. Does that even make sense? Not sure if I'm explaining well.

I also find it difficult to come from oral sex, as in I never have but I wonder if that's because I worry about taking too long?

During sex, is it normal to only orgasm through touching self? I wish I knew what other people do because I worry I'm a bit of a freak but it's the only way I can get off.

Basically I think my clitoris needs too much stimulation and it means it's hard for me to do normal sexual stuff or at least have an orgasm from it. Any advice?

OP posts:
Blue2014 · 03/12/2016 16:59

You sound normal to me - a quick google suggests 20 mins is the average but if you are worrying about it, it's going to take longer

IcedVanillaLatte · 03/12/2016 17:02

Have you tried a really good lube for masturbation; something like Pjur? Lets you get more stimulation without skin friction.

Original poster
JustHenrietta · 03/12/2016 17:15

I haven't tried anything like that IcedVanilla, thank you. I'll try and get some. During sex itself though, is it pretty normal to 'help yourself'? I get a bit embarrassed about doing that but it's the only way I can come. I'd be really reassured if I knew it's common to do it. Obviously I can't be the only one but how common is it?

OP posts:
IcedVanillaLatte · 03/12/2016 17:17

Personally? I'm the same as you are WRT everything you mentioned in your OP.

Sherlock35 · 03/12/2016 17:18

It is fairly common if you want to orgasm. I really really wouldn't worry about it. Experiment and try different things. Lube is a good suggestion. Maybe try a bullet vibrator? Try different ways of masturbating and see what happens. But promise. Self stimulation is totally normal.

LeopardPrintSocks1 · 03/12/2016 17:19

I'm the same as you, op. Smile not many men are up to the job, sadly, or get bored. Then there's the pressure to come quick - which stops you coming. Catch 22. What about using a bullet during?

I've come once from oral from a guy that just seemed to get it. Was repetitive and used a firm tongue rather than just licking the area and chopping and changing.

Alorsmum · 03/12/2016 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/12/2016 17:21

Completely normal OPSmile

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 03/12/2016 18:13

Completely normal. But get a Womaniser - best clitoral stimulation ever and in minutes.

You could use something until you almost feel like you are at the point of orgasm and then try oral?

PoldarksBreeches · 03/12/2016 18:16

I always help myself along to orgasm. Sod any man who doesn't approve of this!

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 04/12/2016 00:33

I never post on this topic but am making an exception to say: hell yeah that's totally normal. It is totally normal to help yourself. But sadly I think a lot of women dont - I know DH found it a bit unusual. Obvs I told him to do one and get with the programme. And funnily enough, over the years, the more accepting he got the more orgasmic I got with him getting involved...

PoldarksBreeches · 04/12/2016 07:00

I think everyone should take responsibility for their own orgasm! The older I get, the older my partners get which means 40+ men who often need more stimulation to orgasm. I positively welcome a man finishing himself off rather than interminably humping away with no conclusion well after I have done. I think there is an idea that people should orgasm from genital contact alone which ime is very difficult to achieve for women and some men past their 20s!

AkimboLimbo · 05/12/2016 21:32

Yes, perfectly normal!
I do this a lot - either with fingers or a vibe.
DH loves to watch.
Your pleasure matters - don't let hangups get in the way of your pleasure.

MyHeartIsInVirginiaBeach · 06/12/2016 13:20

Totally normal OP! I know what you mean about needing very firm pressure and when having sex I will always 'go for it' when the moment arrives using my fingers to achieve orgasm. I used to be shy about doing it but soon learned that, not only will it lead to a satisfying orgasm, my partner loves seeing me do it and turns him on too.

DaddyDayCare82 · 06/12/2016 15:49

From a mans perspective it's a huge turn on when my wife lends a helping hand, in fact I like to encourage it especially when we're going for a quickie! Last thing I want is her not to orgasm.

Maybe try spooning and teach him the best way to do it for you! Xmas Smile

BumDNC · 19/12/2016 22:38

I'm having the problem that I get so much stimulation that it kind of just stays in the 'nearly there' zone and I cant seem to progress past it. It's so frustrating. Physically he's got a very good technique but when this happens I'm not sure if it's because my mind begins to wander (against my will) or something else.... I also have virtually no hope of even giving myself my own orgasm after drinking even one glass of alcohol either?!

AkimboLimbo · 19/12/2016 23:07

Bum, this is where a good vibrator comes in handy.
If I can't quite get there manually, a bit of battery power is guaranteed to work. (Alcohol has a similar effect on me too!)

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