Has anyone dramatically improved their sex life with their partner?

[RainbowBriteRules]

Over the last few months DH and I have been having much more sex, mainly because my libido, which was practically non-existent, now seems to be through the roof.

We are currently pretty much lights out, in bed only, sex. It's good, but is there a way to get from that to toe curling orgasms and sex on the stairs (when the DC are asleep ) or is that just in movies? It often takes DH a while to come so quickies aren't really an option although I would love them to be.

Has anybody got there from a fairly routine sex life? I don't want anything hugely exciting but would like to try out of the bedroom a bit and maybe to be touched a bit more when PIV not an option due to time.

I cannot help you but as promised, bumping for you!

Hope some good knicker twanging comes your way

Watching with interest as I long for some passion and spontaneous shagging from my pretty boring mainstream DH.
I tried to give him a cheeky blowy in the lounge when our babies were upstairs napping and he said he felt weird as it's a family room where we play and eat with the twins, but he's more than happy to have a silent shag upstairs when they're asleep in the same room

That's exactly it! Passion and spontaneous shagging and not a scheduled 'appointment' for sex! Need to be a bit more passionate myself I think. Is still a novelty even wanting sex, just want a bit more excitement too.

We did spontaneous today for the first time in years. It was absolutely bliss to be able to do it there and then and actually let go and make some noise.

I underestimated how much of an impact on my sex life my kids had until this morning.

Yes it is that kind of thing. I find even if there is an opportunity though we don't take it for some reason. Find it hard to let go.

Yes it is that kind of thing. I find even if there is an opportunity though we don't take it for some reason. Find it hard to let go. we have been the same for years, I don't even know what happened today but it has really woken us both up to the fact that a quickie under the covers while trying not to make a sound and keeping on eye on the door is just not enough.

Also (must name change after this thread!) I would love to just be utterly selfish sometimes and tell him exactly what I want and not have to make any effort back . Not all the time but just once in a while and would return the favour another time but can't figure out how to bring that up.

Sorry no help OP, but how did you manage to get your libido back? I'm very much in the CBA camp at the moment although I do enjoy it when I get into it. Bedtime only here as well.

I'm not sure!!! Sorry, I realise that is no help. Combination of things I think. A few hours to myself each week has made the biggest difference as feel recharged. Also had a bit of a weird work crush (nothing happened) which woke me up and made me think I'd better put effort into my marriage. But realty it seemed to just happen . I started thinking about sex a lot more. To be honest I could do with it dulling a bit as I seriously think about it all the time now.

Maybe try some sexy underwear...it might be a way of communicating that you're wanting more without saying it in words...
I'm sure he'd be thrilled if you initiated some spontaneous thrills!

bow tie I will need to buy some underwear I think as all mine is really awful . Might buy myself some as a Christmas present . Good idea re communicating that way, thanks, will try it. Is it wrong to leave the love honey website open accidentally?!

Thanks OP. I wish I wanted it more, I really do. Not sure what to do about it though!

just, thinking about it, I did start to fantasise a bit more about sex before wanting to physically do it a lot more. Maybe just let your mind wander, think about people you like. I appreciate this is a very simplistic idea though and may not help. For a long time I had no interest and didn't even think about it really.

I'm a big fan of telling him what you want or what you are going to do to him.
Verbally, write it down, text him, send him a photo - not necessarily of you, but of an idea or a position etc.
I remember one piece of advice that Tracy Cox gives - change one thing every time you have sex so it is never the same twice in a row. Whether that is clothing, lighting, position, location - anything that makes it a little bit different.
Going out with no knickers on can be a real thrill, or just teasing the fuck out of each other at a time when you can't do anything about it until later.

Amimbo, do you just come out and say it? Those who ask for what you want, do you not feel shy?! Have never, ever discussed fantasies or anything like that. Find it so difficult to get the words out and wouldn't dream of texting it. Feel awkward even moving his hands to where I want when we are doing stuff. We had a really nice fondle on the sofa last night, didn't lead to full sex or go particularly far as I was knackered but it was bliss. Want to do more like that and just to touch each other a bit more in the day but can't get the words out and feel awkward instigating things if it won't lead to PIV.

"Fancy a fuck" tends to work pretty well!
Put something very sexy on under a robe, then flash him.
I did have to summon up the courage the first few times I did it, but it really was worth it. Now it's easy.
I remember buying a new toy and sending him a photo of it.
I've sent an email with a group of pictures showing different sexual positions (explicit) with a title of "Which do you fancy?"
I wrote a menu offering various different services and invited him to choose.
I put a Lovehoney wishlist together and sent it to him and he bought a few things for Christmas for me.
Tumblr has a range of very erotic imagery - we often exchange links or pictures.
I find that snuggling up to him and saying "I've been thinking dirty thoughts about you" is a good introduction.
Just a "hmmmm" with a look up and down him tells him what's on my mind.
Sometimes I'll just stare at him until he says "what?" and I'll say, "Just thinking about what I'm going to do to you later."

If you enjoyed your fondle on the sofa, tell him - I really enjoyed what we did on the sofa last night. I'd like to do more of that.

A glass of wine can help!

Well... you gave me a bit of courage. Just snuggled up to him and let's just say I communicated better than I usually do :) . Told him where to touch me and said what position I'd like. It was good .

Have visions of tearing each other's clothes off on the stairs but might work up to that. He's already a bit shell shocked.

Yay! well done you!
Small steps make for a fun journey - enjoy it

I'm not having much luck with all this, I thought as the babies were in bed by 8 and it's my birthday in the morning would mean I might get lucky, but instead he sulked off to bed at 9 and asked if I would sleep on the sofa

oh no, that is shit on your birthday (and at any other time) .

Rainbow. How about some flirty texts when you are apart in the day..."been thinking about you" etc ...build it up a bit during the day and let the passion come out later (with new underwear) . See what happens.

Wind...what a git, go out with your girlfriends on your birthday

Thanks jeaux. Probably could manage a 'thinking about you' text, seems tame enough . Not had a chance to buy new underwear yet but is on the to-do list definitely!

Oh come on. you know what I mean a little flirty texting is great to build up the anticipation and I'm sure you can do better than my pathetic example

Ok will try. Thanks for all tips everyone. Anyone else got any they want to share?!