Dead marriage

[geordiegeorgie]

The headline is gimmicky, but I'm crying as I type. In summary:

• together 10 years
• married 5
• never been interested in sex
• I knew this and still married him (my fault)
• lovely man. Never hit me. Intelligent. Funny.
• 2 kids: 4 and 2.
• 100% grateful the kids have a WONDERFUL father. Perfect.
• shit marriage.no bond. No desire.
• wonder if he's gay / asexual.
• my heart HURTS. Being undesired for 10 years

I don't really have much advertising car but sure someone will be along soon and didn't want to read and run.
Have you spoken to you H about the lack of sex and how you feel? Communication is key (a leaf outta my book I need to take!) have you been having many problems other than lack of intimacy?

Hi OP, I suggest you get this thread moved to the Relationship board where there is more traffic and lots of help.

I am afraid a great father who is intelligent funny and hasn't hit you does not make a great husband... you need intimacy for that. Have you tried to talk to him about it?

Do you get on in other areas of your shared life?

There is a letter in today's Sunday Times saying almost same thing. 10 years, no sex. The answer given was we aren't meant to do without love and affection, it's a human need. I totally understand your pain Geordie, I'm in similar dead situation and it's killing me inside. Marriage of 22 years, no sex anymore and feel stuck. The answer to the letter in the paper was "woman up"! I think life is so hard without love, affection, intimacy. On the kids front, I regret that they haven't experienced seeing a close relationship at first hand. I fear what it has done to their perception of relationships but we stayed to give them "stability".

9 years married here, together 13 and pretty much the same circumstances, except my kids are 5 and 2.

I sadly don't have any advice on how to make things better, but wanted you to know that you're not alone.

I have (repeatedly) tried talking to my partner about this, but she seems surprised every time I bring it up. I honestly think she's oblivious to this and the tensions it creates. As all other areas are good, and I Love and want stability for my children, for now I plod on.

Together 18 years, married 11, kids 10 & 14. I told DH in July he had to go, he's gone

I completely lost my mojo. Partner couldn't cope and we broke up. Important thing was we still loved each other. Realise now I just didn't fancy him anymore and we probably stayed together for fear of being alone. But we aren't, we're still a family and good friends and see each other all the time and I've well and truly found my mojo with someone else. But I'm not going down the monogamous route again. On a passion front, for me, it's an absolute killer.