New(ish) dp terrible kisser

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I really like her otherwise but kissing is leaving me cold as it's awful and I usually see kissing as highly arousing. I thought at the start it was because we'd had drinks but now we've gone past the nervewracking let's have drinks initial dates to sober times spent with each other that is her norm. I know now from what she has said she has lack of experience whereas I have plenty of that.

I don't want to say to her about it outright as I don't want to hurt her. Is it possible to change a bad kisser into good and how can I go about it without her thinking I think that about her or criticising her?

I would love to just put up with it but it's a big thing for me sensual/sex wise but she's great in every other way.

What makes a good kiss? I'm sure this differs for everyone so what is it for you?

My ex was a terrible kisser. I always used to think about washing machines, this big wet tongue thrashing about round and round, slobbery too. It never really improved in 14 years.

Just be honest. Though I don't think you can really teach a bad kisser to be good, it's such a personal thing.

duds what makes to me to me a good kiss is just the right enough of mouth open, right enough not too slobbery. Tongue I can deal with as long as it's not rammed down throat circa 17 year me's boyfriend.

Was hoping for more positive yes you can responses I'm basically her first relationships, though not first kiss but there's not been many, so can you have a style then?

I think, since you're able to put it in words here that means you have some guidance or description to offer her. Frame it in terms of letting her know what you like, as if you wish to just increase intimacy rather than destroy (I know that's not your intention) it with critique. It may of course be that she is also wishing you'd kiss differently.

Just be honest & tell her. It would be a deal clincher for me

True duds it is possible as everyone likes different things I suppose. I have quite frequently been complimented throughout my life however

It's getting to that stage sadly Naze. I usually find kissing intensely erotic but it's killing the mood for me.

Ok I'm going to have to speak to her. Why do I find that so difficult to do when I never have any qualms saying what I like and don't sex wise. It just seems so personal.

Just say something along the lines of: "Let me kiss you the way I like it." And show her, making it lighthearted or as serious as the mood takes you.
If you've come this far you obviously like and want to please each other.

Thanks Sgt, I'll try it that way in a playful manner

Yes, its not rocket science, I'm sure she can follow and adapt to what your lips are doing eventually.

Hmmm tbh if something as basic as a kiss isn't nice from the get go then I'm not sure it can be taught.

I couldn't date someone i didn't like kissing and I don't know how you can teach someone without hurting feelings

I'd say you can help her learn - as suggested I'd say something along the lines of 'let me show you what I like' or simple instructions (slower/more gently/etc) much as you might with other aspects of sex. My dh has never been with anyone else and was a bit OTT to start with but has calmed down and more my style now. Also consider positions if slobber is an issue ie not her above you! It's one I've learned to avoid ;)

hmm, I think lots of kissing is chemistry. If it's not there, I'm not sure whether it can be fixed?

Thanks all I would have been the same before and thrown the towel in quick, if you've been with a few people you should know by now I would have thought but she hasn't.

I know I've made concessions because she isn''t experienced and thank you Roo, I'm not her first kiss but near enough and no relationships before to learn these things. It's actually quite heartening to hear of someone in the same situation previously.

Upside is this week real progress. We had a general chat, not specifically about kissing but mismatches we have bedroom style and said she knows she gets carried away. I think she's been able to tell with me kind of pulling away and it's been far far better and slowed down.