I've thought about this a lot and also done some reading around this and it seems like there's often a deeper meaning to sexual fantasies than we might be aware of initially. One theory is that if you were subject to traumatic or unwanted early sexual experiences, recreating them as an adult can be a way of mastering those experiences so that you are in control and thereby you can overcome or rewrite them in a way. I don't want to go into detail about my own experiences on here but I have realised, through writing them down, that every single one of my fantasies ( that I have now enacted ), were actually recreations of abusive situations I experienced as a teen. It has been healing for me personally to experience these, even though at times they felt quite compulsive and I was very driven to do certain things which pp who hadn't experienced abuse might be quite judgemental about. I'm ok with my choices but wondered what other women thought about this...?