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What do you make of this text?

9 replies

Anonforagoodreason · 16/09/2016 21:48

I posted a while back about having come out of a very long dry spell with OH where I'd lost my libido totally. I got turned on by a random connection with one of his friends at a bawdy show we all went to, and it sent me a bit doolally for a while. I fantasised about a threesome with this guy and OH for ages, and got over my dry spell!

Anyway, it all calmed down - obviously nothing happened with friend - and we are having more sex, but still not as much as OH would like. He is very good at not pressuring me, but I went from 0 to 10 and now hover around 3/4.

Said friend has been round helping with the house again - during the day when he's doing diy with OH I don't find him particularly sexy, but he's been round a few times in the evenings and we're a bit flirty. Nothing behind OH's back or that would make him uncomfortable, he always just laughs at us - he is very unthreatened. I've seen it as a harmless thrill until now.

Friend will never take money for the help he gives us, and so I sometimes get tickets for something and invite him and his girlfriend (who never comes - I've never met her although OH has), I'd texted him to ask him about the tickets and we had a bit of banter. He asked how much they were and I said we wanted to pay for them but he could buy the beers if he wanted to. Then it got a bit weird. He texted back "when I am pissed I am going to snog you".

I am going to be honest whilst hiding behind my anonymous log in, I am really turned on by this. I showed it to OH and laughed it off, texting back that OH wanted to know if he was getting a snog too, but honestly, all the erotic fantasies with this man are back with a vengeance. Despite the flirty banter I've never really thought he fancied me. I'm very overweight and never make much of an effort with my appearance these days, and he's got a girlfriend and I'm married to his good friend. I don't know whether it's banter that unwittingly crossed the line, I don't know whether he meant it as a joke - it wasn't the natural response to the conversation so far.

I feel like a bloody teenager again. Giddy with a crush. Only now this isn't on, is it? Half of me wants to indulge in daydreams about what ifs and half of me realises I need a good slap and to stop the flirting before someone gets hurt.

BTW I don't think OH - even if he ever agreed to a threesome IRL - would want one of his friends as the other person. I've had a MMF threesome years ago and really enjoyed it. OH knows it's a fantasy of mine, but we've never discussed acting it out in RL. I also don't think friend is thinking along the lines of a threesome.

Sorry this is a ridiculous ramble, I've drunk too much wine and thought too much about this all day. It's boosted my confidence but in a dangerous way. I used to love the thrill of illicit ONS in my single days, but have never cheated on anyone myself.

OP posts:
Angeliqueinquest · 16/09/2016 21:53

You showed your OH the when I'm pissed I'm going to snog you text and he laughed it off Hmm wow.

milkysmum · 16/09/2016 21:57

If I showed DH that text he would not have been laughing at all!

Purplebluebird · 16/09/2016 22:11

I would cool it down, way down with this other guy. You can keep your fantasies, but cut down on the flirting - if he thinks he can snog you then clearly he's taking it a bit too far!

Anonforagoodreason · 16/09/2016 23:05

Angelique and milky - when you both said that I thought about what actually happened, and realised I didn't show him the actual text, I summarised and said something along the lines of he says he'll give me a snog for the tickets. OH then laughed and said only if he gives me (OH)one too. Shit. It's not the same thing at all is it.

Shit shit shit. Stupid fantasies and flirting aside, I don't want them to fall out. OH isn't good with friends, and this is one friend that he really likes and the friendship is good for him in so many ways.

But the friend has crossed the line. I have probably encouraged him to. Bollocks.

OP posts:
rightsforwomen · 16/09/2016 23:22

It's ok. Back right off with the flirting, make a big show of loving your OH when you all go out or are all together and try to get the spark back.

It will be worth it.

LunaJuna · 17/09/2016 09:44

We are all entitled to have our fantasies Wink, but yeah cool off the flirt - it's too close to home (even if nothing happens)

BolshierAryaStark · 17/09/2016 18:41

Yes you definitely need to back off with the flirting, my DH would definitely not laugh off that text-pretty sure yours wouldn't either if you showed him the actual thing rather than giving him a watered down version...

TheNaze73 · 18/09/2016 12:26

What part of showing him the text did you think was a good idea??

WingsofNylon · 07/10/2016 00:06

This isbwhybflirting of any kind is not a good idea. In your shoes i would respond with ' just so you know your last text made me feel quite uncomfortable. I know it's just ment as banter but it was kinda disrespectful to dh. I'm sure you understand'

You can fantasizeall you like but the flirting is not on.

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