I thought all men liked receiving oral?

[Thecatgotmytongue]

I've been seeing my bf for over a year, although long distance at first, so not often.

In that time I've tried to give him oral sex a few times, but he always stops me. He says either it tickles or that's it difficult because it's too soft or too hard.

My exes never complained and I thought I generally did a good job. Now I'm feeling very uncertain.

Could it be he just doesn't like it? Or could I do something different? He's not very experienced and said maybe it's because he's not used to it.

What made you think all men like it? After all, not all women do either.

My ex didn't as it reminded him of abuse he'd received.

If he doesn't like oral then he doesn't like oral - its just personal preference? what is the issue?

I don't like receiving oral. This feels like a shameful secret for some reason! I say much the same as your bf actually - either it's too soft or too hard, the pressure is never quite right. Or I'm just not getting much sensation at all so I get a bit bored and then it starts to tickle.

If you really like giving it because it turns you on I'm sure you can come to a compromise where you do it for a bit as long as it's not hurting or tickling. But if you only want to do it because you think he ought to like it then just stop.

Sex should never be what someone else tells you you want. There are no blanket rules around something so personal.

Lots of men do like it, some don't. As it happens, it's not to be his cup of tea. I'm not sure what the problem is or why you are making it about you? It's not your technique that's in question, it's just that he's not keen on it full stop. If it was a question of technique he'd tell you, especially as you seem quite keen to crack on.

I think you should listen to him. It's as rare as rocking horse shit but, I can't see why he'd refuse it, if he genuinely liked it.

I had an ex who didn't like it. He was the only man I have had sex with who didn't like it, but I never saw it as a reflection on my technique. He told me before I ever did it that he had never liked it.

No need to attack me - I've just never heard of a man not liking oral before. I'm not forcing him or anything!

I like receiving it, but it is just a "nice thing", it doesn't fire me up every time. It doesn't normally send shivers up my spine, send lighting to the root of me, make me hot, hungry and passionate. At least that's how it is most of the time. It works better if I know that the woman wants to give it because it is what she adores. Then it is different and something that doesn't normally work for me does because she is 'into it'. If that makes sense ?!?
I can understand this because I am so into giving oral. I get so passionate about long foreplay, DFK, and lots of long, slow oral on her, edging, and having the deepest experiences from sex that I can get a woman who feels the same.

I don't know if that helps. Other than to say that with the right person oral is......well just...amazing.
It also takes a long time to really get to know someone else's body. In my experience this can be a few years, depending on how much other life stuff you have going on.

Thanks. I think partly it's that I want to make it absolutely amazing for him. Show him different things. I have more experience than him and just wanted to spoil him, take him to new heights,I guess.

Obviously this isn't the way to go ..

No, it isn't.

Do it because it is amazing for you. He will go along with that.

But if, like me, receiving oral is only a tiny part of this thing we call 'love and sex' don't get hung up on it. There are so many other things we can do. In fact, if you stop and think about it, the possibilities of love and sex are endless. Because each special moment can never be recreated. That is the loss. But it is also the salvation. You never know what is round the corner. Grow together in all all areas of your lives. The sex will grow also.

Thanks. It's difficult .. He's very shy, embarrassed, sensitive.

Have you actually spoken to him about this? At a calm moment? I thought that was all part of getting to know each other?

If he's just not used to it and a bit nervous, don't just dive in taking a mouthful. Take it as his pace, lots of kissing his tummy and thighs until he's wanting you to go further?

I don't like it

My DW doesn't like receiving it, although I really really want to give it

Just accept that he doesn't like it - offer something else - like sexy lingerie

Am sorry to say that it is a lttle arrogant to think that you can change his view. It may change at some point, but please don't push him

Odd user name for this subject.