Lacking confidence

[HeyBungalowBill]

When I was younger I was quite easy going and felt confident with sex, but since having a child and having less sex I've lost my confidence.

I've met someone new and we've slept together a few times and so far so good, he makes me feel reasonably comfortable but I feel anxious about him seeing my body etc.
We've done a few different positions and he's given me oral, but I feel anxious about giving him oral and going on top.

I feel like I've got away with it for now as we've only just started seeing eachother, but I want to do those two things both for myself (I hate feeling nervous, it must be off putting) and for him as I know he'd love it.

He also wants me to dominate him in the bedroom which terrifies me a little! But again, I'd really like to try it as I want the confidence to be myself.
I'm not entirely sure what he wants so will have to ask him, but I know he'd love for me to go on top and kind of hold him down while I do it?

I want someone to help me, but I'm not sure how I can be helped

I suppose my problems are, that I don't know what position to be in when I perform oral, I remember trying to do it when I was younger and it always seemed a bit awkward to get into a good and comfortable position with them laying on the bed on their backs?

I also feel like when I'm on top that I just don't know how to move, it feels awkward for me but that may just be due to inexperience?

I bloody hate being nervous and self conscious!

Something else I should add is he's rather long and probably couldn't fit much of it in my mouth, should I use my hand at the same time? I'm not sure I have the rhythm for this sort of thing!

I need someone I feel entirely comfortable with to teach me! I was lucky to have someone like that when I was younger. I might be able to feel like that with this man if I'm honest, we will see!

Blindfold him with a scarf?

Then you could get on top without feeling self conscious? Or reverse cowgirl so he doesn't see your face?

For the oral you could kneel between his open legs.

The blindfold might be a good idea, he might like that!

And for the oral, do you mean whilst he's laid on the bed?

Have you had a name change fail op?

Yes. I generally end up in a few different ways , kneeling between his open knees as he lays on the bed, laying my head sideways on his stomach, kneeling on the floor on a pillow, or the good old 69.

Also I like my DP to kneel to the side of my head if I'm feeling submissive.

Some men like to watch some aren't that bothered.

Just be yourself and go for it. You will soon be drowning in confidence.

I may or may not have had an embarrassing name change fail never mind!

I remember kneeling between my ex's legs and it never felt right because I really had to pull his penis towards me to do so. Is it the same when you do it that way?

Excellent username btw lemon pledge!

Fingers crossed Dave, it's been quite a while so I think I've developed a bit of nerves because I'm worried I won't get it right anymore. I'm daft like that!

You need to find a position that is comfortable for both of you for oral. He could sit on the bed while you kneel on the floor. Yes use your hand with your mouth.
For being on top, let him guide you at first until you are confident enough to take control.

There's a video on YouTube called how to ride, can't remember who by but it's by a black American woman and it's really not the up and down sort of movements you see on films lol.

Basically straddle him, lean forward on your hands ( or pin his arms down ) and move your hips and bum up and down,without moving your upper body. Have a look it's easy and men love it

Well he came round last night and I went on top and it was amazing! I've never enjoyed sex so much I think a few drinks helped things along, but I didn't feel nervous at all after 2 minutes or so.

I just need to feel more comfortable with oral then I'm sorted! It feels nice to not be letting my nerves hold me back for once

My failed name change has been corrected, wahoo!

I prefer to give him oral with me laying down, with my head propped up on a pillow, and him kneeling over me from the side, while he does nice things with his hands. It means I have my hands free to grab him - and it feels less like hard work than him laying on his back, me between his knees.

And yes, use your hands too, especially if you can get them both on there one potato, two potato style! I'd also recommend using some lube (coconut oil is good, slippery and delicious) as that makes it easier and more enjoyable for him.

Also don't forget the balls! Lick them, suck them! Always a winner ime.

Thank you so much for the advice, I feel silly for feeling so anxious about this sort of thing! I always imagine everyone else has such amazing, confident, sexy sex

Oral is the one I'll find the most nerve wracking, because being on top wasn't as bad because he could help me along and then suddenly I found I was doing it myself!

Quite nervous about ball related activities

You'd be surprised at the amount of people that have very mediocre sex op!