Face Slapping

[talksensetome]

My ex partner would sometimes slap my face during sex. We had a very varied sex life sometimes we would have rough sex with hair pulling, choking and restraint which is when the face slapping was introduced. I didn't mind, he never hurt me, other times we would make love and it would be very soft and slow and sensual so it was all balanced out. We had talked prior about rough sex and my fantasy around forced sex etc so it was all consensual and we knew each others boundaries.

We split up and I decided to hook up with a guy I previously had a ONS with. well he slapped my face. several times, out of the blue with no prior discussion! I didn't complain because I like rough sex and it was quite rough, I love being choked which he also did so it did seem a natural part of proceedings and it is a turn on to me, obviously not hard enough to really hurt.

But is this a thing now? Something that is such a normal part of sex that you would do it with a casual partner on the second time you saw them with no prior warning or discussion about how rough you do or don't like it? I have had a lot of partners in my life and until these two most recent ones I have never been slapped before!

I'd have hot the roof, not because I don't like rough sex, but because I hadn't been asked if it was ok. Not acceptable to do without prior consent!

Actually jacks eye rolling was aimed at me.

Yes jack I am worried. I work with young people and find it quite sad/alarming/fucking depressing what young girls think they should be doing and what young boys think they should be getting or how the girls should be behaving when being intimate.

It's hidiously distorted between truth and fiction - a lot of it is down to easy access to porn.

I watch porn myself when I'm in the mood and like a varied sex life with my Dh. But my response was to op latest encounter who hadn't thought to see if she was actually ok with getting her face slapped. If some one or even my Dh slapped my face with out me expecting it or discussing it I'd punch their teeth in.

So do please fuck off with your eye roll

I think it's perfectly understandable to be concerned for our children.

JackandDiane. How ironic you asking someone not to patronise you when you are doing exactly that with emoticons alone.

Op, I'd be raging if someone done that without checking on a ons.

I read that every time you get choked, some brain cells die - I hope it's not true but it does sound likely.

Nigella that's not true but it's very dangerous in untrained hands.

Christ, if someone slapped my face out of the blue during sex he'd be fishing around in his abdominal cavity for his bollocks within seconds.

Cheeky bastard.

i am also out of the game but if someone slapped my face during sex id slap them back and leave. why is this a thing now? it seems very derogatory to me.

pinkyredrose thanks for telling me that - I know someone who does the choking thing and was Worried about her brain cells- it does make sense though as it will starve the brain of oxygen albeit momentarily?

As for the slapping OP well that sounds awful enough (to me) in a consensual situation so with a randomer with no warning or prior discussion, definitely a no-no.

I'd partition 'normal' sex from anything rougher. Blurring the boundaries carries alot of risk.

'Normal' sex is what you do with anyone the first few times, especially with randomers and people you have no reason to trust. And trust shouldn't come as an automatic assumption, it needs to be built.

Rougher sex needs consent, boundaries and safe words. It's the only way to do it properly, and safely... Something the bdsm community are very hot on. There are rules, and etiquette and if a partner doesn't want to do it that way, he's really not the sort of person you can trust with your life.

Establishing these kind of up front ruled can still be sexy by the way, not talking about the kind of t&c you click past on iTunes etc!

Anyway, don't ever think you have to accept something because in another type of situation you really like it. Slapping a woman in the face with no warning screams an alarm to me... Where's the consent? Boundaries and guard rails? Where's the respect?

Porn is pushing the boundaries for men. We need to be pushing back. Real world sex is different from porn. Porn isn't the benchmark of 'good sex', as good sex is about real pleasure, not fakery, and the mutuality. It's a (perhaps fleeting) bond of two people making an experience together, doing something that each person gets a kick out of. Soooooo different from porn.

I slapped a guy for the first time last time I had sex. He asked me to and had done to me.

I'd never done that and it was really exciting, but I think he got off on it more than I did. And similarly when he slapped me, I think I enjoy it more than him. It's a weird I like it cus I can see that you like it thing for both of us. Very interesting experience.

I've never switched before. TBF when I showed reluctance he commanded that I do it so it still felt submissive.