Top buys

[Fueledwithfairydustandgin]

If you had a very vanilla sex life and were a bit shy about it all but wanted to try new things what would be your top buys.

How about staring with a blind fold and something to tie each other up with? Doesn't have to be handcuffs! You could try a silk ribbon type of thing?

I really like the candles that burn into a massage oil. They are safe - don't worry!

It's nice to enjoy an evening with candle glow and a sensual warm rub down. There are some lovely flavours and scents.

What are you curious to try sexually?

He's just been a total dickhead tonight so right now I'm in the mood to do something other than sex!!!!!!! I don't really know. I don't think our sex life is anything like as good as it should be. I don't really know what I like and he doesn't either. I feel a bit embarrassed about the whole thing too which doesn't help. I just would like to enjoy sex and actually want to do it rather than just doing it.

Have you got a vibrator?

A couple of glasses of wine before might be the best purchase if you need a confidence boost.

When you say it could be better are you thinking on something specific? Are you orgasming or not, for example? Is it not lasting long enough? What do you think you are missing that you perceive others doing?

I think a good place to start is with the vibrators for yourself. Then if he is a dickhead you can still enjoy a bit of time and pleasure to yourself. There are waterproof ones for example that you can take into the bath when alone.

Then there are a host of questions on how you orgasm - g spot, clitoral, anal - as there are toys for all this kind of stimulation.

No I don't have a vibrator.
I just don't really enjoy it that much. If I'm honest I never have even with previous partners. I have never orgasmed. I think DH has got me close but then I don't like the feeling so always want him to stop. I'm just not good at the whole sex thing

Nothing to be embarrassed about, but does explain a little why you feel how you do. Does he know you don't climax?

Get yourself a Hitachi magic wand, they're the best!

Yes he knows and he really tries to help/put me first but I just don't know what the problem is

Bullet vibrator is a good one to start with
Butterfly clit vibrator is also good.

You need to find out what turns you on. Self explore and all that jazz.

Lovehoney is good, look at the recommended toys, the reviews. Look through the site, see what tickles your fancy.

Buy him a deep throat onacup. He'll do anything for you after that

Bullet vibe - just £10 from Superdrug, Boots or Tesco

Have you tried reading erotica at all Fuelled? Give you more of an idea of things you might like to try. Literotica is a big site separated by um 'interests'.

What is it that embarrasses you, do you think that might have a part to play in not orgasming?

Agree self exploration is the way to go. Learn what pleases you first in a relaxed environment with no pressure of trying to attain climax, just finding out what feels good to you.