Finding a 3rd to be with us both...

[Temporary2016]

Name changed - been here. Years as MNHQ can verify if needed.

This isn't a piss take or a titillation thing, it's a request for websites/help

DH and I have had some fab fun over the last three years since I told him I was bi - we've had one-offs and we have had longer term relationships where we have met up regularly with the lady in question.

However, due to various reasons, things have dried up a little and we're not having much luck meeting a like-minded person. We only want to meet females not males, so couple meets aren't for us. Neither are "clubs".

Any hints or ideas please? We're on fab swingers, OK Cupid, MA and Adult Hub but it's all very slow right now.

Like I said, this is a genuine request for info, not a discussion on the state of my fantastic marriage, nor will I be answering questions on the act itself.

Ta muchly xx

Fetlife?

Is that not just for fetish stuff, like BDSM? I did have a look but couldn't see anything like we're wanting, I'll look again though, thankyou

I had success on adulthub when I was a single woman. I'm quite surprised at the lack of response. Are you fairly flexible on your profile? Ages, looks, body types? What about being able to travel - are you willing?

There is Feeld which is fairly new like a grinder for more than 2?

The single woman isn't called the Unicorn for nothing though....!

To be honest I found it more relaxing to be with two or more other singles. I always thought a married couple might be a little more uncomfortable. And a lot of times I liked the female, but didn't always find the guy to my taste. So it makes it a little more difficult in that perspective.

Perhaps one of the adult hub meet ups would be better? Or visit a swing club? There are private rooms if you do meet a single lady.

Fabswingers is probably the best place. Be aware that the number of couples wanting to meet bi lady unicorns far outnumbers women wanting to meet couples. You are going to have to sell yourselves a bit.

We had success on Adult Hub, and think we sell ourselves quite well - more than happy to travel, and we've always paid for the meals/drinks/hotels etc. Not pushy at all, our only "rules" are condoms every time (with me and her), and that we only "play out" together - IE you can't just meet me or him on our own.

The issues we have found is that most of the time the single women profiles are 90% of the time a bloke pretending who just wants pictures for his wank bank, or they're actually a couple "but it's ok he'll just watch". I'm really not up for other blokes being involved at all, and we're totally honest about that from the beginning.

Actually we're probably too honest...lol

Im petrified of a meet up or club - daft probably. Read far too many negative reviews about pushy aggressive men to want to risk it

Fabswingers is probably the best place. Be aware that the number of couples wanting to meet bi lady unicorns far outnumbers women wanting to meet couples. You are going to have to sell yourselves a bit.

Oops double post. Ignore that last one.

I'm bi. I haven't had much experience with women though. It has occurred to me that meeting up with couples is a good way to get some male and female based sex. I am wary of just being some couple's fuck toy, though. I don't want to be part of someone else's fantasy without my needs being seen to.

That's something we've always been really conscious of, and usually it's me and the other girl playing until she - and I - are both happy for DH to join in. If anyone gets slightly neglected it's him to be honest lol.

It's an ace way to get the best of both worlds. Bloody love it. With us it's never just a meet, fuck and leave - we're interested in the person too and always have a meal or drinks before and/or after, and regular contact in between meet ups. Perhaps we are just too nice, I dunno.

startled I think you hit the nail on the head - that's how I felt - I was a supporting part to another couples fantasy.

It was easier to engage with the two singles. I felt you could go as far as you were comfortable without offending someone's partner. For example a big thing about a meet up with a female is I enjoy kissing, touching and stroking a woman's skin, I wouldn't want to engage in kissing her husband for hours in the same way....I wouldn't be interested at all.

I also find some women in the bi curious thing a bit "Disney Princess" too...they enjoyed the idea of being adventurous but not so much the practicality of reciprocating the pleasure giving to a mutual orgasm. On a few occasions I felt like I was doing all the hard work and apart from the experience being sexy, I left without much personal satisfaction.

That's why I think OP, that maybe meet ups or clubs are good, because then you can get your persona across. You sound nice btw. And there are clubs exclusively for couples and single women....

Personally I didnt initially want to make friends with anyone. And I would worry about that and the couple dynamic. What if I got on with your DH like a house on fire for example? And started up an honest friendship - is it comfortable?

But saying that I met some very interesting people on AH and it became almost a season of anthropological fascination as well as a great time of casual hook ups.

There was a post on Escorts a few weeks ago. I've often thought on this for myself and DP. But then it goes completely against my thoughts on prostitution so I find my feelings a little confused.

Well, all the things you mention we've talked about and decided what if/when/etc.

The kissing and touching at length is just us girls. HE watches, loves it - loves seeing me enjoy myself and loves just as much seeing me pleasure another lady. Before he joins in the girls have usually had at least one orgasm each, if not more.

Then after he has joined in and had some gun, obviously he needs recovery time which is more opportunity for me to play again...honestly, the dynamics for us are perfect.

What if you get on better with him? We've had that - one of our long term ladies who we have seen for a couple of years, gets on really well with DH - they have a lot in common that I'm not so interested in. But mutual respect and liking comes into it then - no one leaves anyone out of anything.

I'm the one who texts and chats - I need my brain turning on before my body follows suit. He adores seeing me animated and happy and horny - turns him on too.

We've had situations where we have both said no, others where one says yes and one no - therefore it's a no. We've also been told that the girl likes one of us and not the other, so that's a no too.

Respect is the key, and mutual pleasure. No one left out, everyone has multiple orgasms, and it's bloody ace fun.

Well, it is when we're part of it - lol!!

Gun?? Fun!!

We have a frequent and ace sex life on our own too - so the playing out is simply a fantastic addition

Well I hope it goes well for you. I think you are seeking out all the right channels. It's just a very difficult thing to find.

Have any of you been in a threesome with your male partner and another man? Does it work out?

I have been the single girl in a couple dynamic and really enjoyed it. I would definately do it again. I enjoy the meeting up and the build up just as much as the sex.

Not with another man no - don't want or need one.

Betty, I'm really pleased to hear that...you anywhere near me, lol
??

OP I'm curious - apologies if this has already been mentioned - does your DH 'play' with the single lady? PIV to be specific? I'm curious of the dynamics.

Hi Hex, yes, he does, with us both - 100% safely of course. If that's what she wants - it's up to the single lady what happens.