Skype & Sex chat

[LadyFadgina]

Just started seeing this guy, he keeps asking for us to be naughty over Skype and I'm not comfortable about it all. He knows I'm not a prude in real life and sex is amazing but I just can't bring myself to talk dirty, or do phone sex, Skype sex. I'm a sexy person but chatting about it with him gets me blushing and tongue tied & worried Ill make sure fool of myself. Do you think this is because I need to get to know this guy better first, we've only had a couple of dates but strong connection and awesome sex.

A lot of people love sex but find communicating it over Skype (i.e not in the same room) awkward. I know I do. It probably wouldn't be as awkward if it was someone you'd been with for a while, but tbh it's normally something seen when two people are having the 'passion' phase (unless long distance relationships).

If you're not happy with it - don't do it. Don't be forced into something that makes you feel uncomfortable otherwise it could set a precedence for going outside your comfortable zone. If the guy you're seeing is decent, he will respect your decision without question or remark (certainly shouldn't say you're a prude) and that will be that.

Don't do it - my first thought is that he will record the call / video! TMI but I have seen too many "amateur" videos where the women were recorded on cam/Skype/whatever.

Don't, he shouldn't be pushing you into something that doesn't work for you, as said he could record it and use it for his 'wank bank' (vile phrase but accurate) or to share with friends and brag about his conquests

Sex should be mutually pleasurable, sounds like he wants a free webcam girl

Thanks everyone. Yes I will stick to my guns here, if he doesn't like it then tough. I didn't think about the recording thing, (although I don't think he'd do that). He didnt put pressure on me, he just thinks it's funny that a woman of my age gets so flustered chatting about rude stuff, yet in the flesh I'm completely different. I don't know why I am shy like that either, but I am, so he'll have to just deal with it.

Just tell him that the thought of it does nothing for you. It doesn't turn you on. It just makes you feel uncomfortable. That's why you don't want to do it.
Any decent bloke would accept that without argument.

Thanks glass that's the perfect thing to say, and right on the mark.

You say he keeps asking and he makes fun of you, that could be construed as subtle low level pressure, grooming even

A strong sexual chemistry can be overwhelming and make you feel a strong sense of trust and intimacy but the reality iis you dont really know him he's still on his best behaviour

Not meaning to sound in any way critical, just speaking from my personal observations😃

"Don't do it - my first thought is that he will record the call / video! TMI but I have seen too many "amateur" videos where the women were recorded on cam/Skype/whatever."

This ^^

I didn't think about the recording thing, (although I don't think he'd do that)

I don't think most women thought they would be recorded. They trusted their partners and then they bitterly regretted it, sometimes years down the line. I don't mean to scare you or make assumptions about your partner, but it pays to be at least aware of unpleasant possibilities.

Glad that you're sticking to your guns though

So I told him I didn't find it sexy, just uncomfortable and he said he needs to learn and accept that doing it for real and talking about sex in that way are two separate things for me. I thanked him for understanding. He then suggested we hold off on sex completely (still see each other) but take things far more slowly if I feel uncomfortable and he didn't want the sex to complicate things between us, as we did rush into it far earlier than either of us expected to. I managed to talk him out of this idea, thankfully 😉

That's good to hear. Sounds like he is doing his best to be considerate.
Never feel that you have to do something that you really don't want to try.
Have fun.

Thank you Glass (dating these days with dating apps, texting, video chats etc makes it all so complicated!! )

As long as he sounds genuinely surprised and concerned about previously putting pressure on you to do something uncomfortable, and isn't punishing you for not giving him what he wants by holding off on sex?