When the woman doesn't come

[Heatherjayne1972]

I have no one else to ask this question to so please be nice
If the woman doesn't come is it fair/acceptable for the man to just roll off And go all moody because 'he hasn't done his job properly' while making no attempt to use his hands to 'help her along' and then later to refuse the woman's advances by ignoring her because he feels bad and that's put him off a repeat performance ?

No it isn't acceptable and such men need to be avoided like the plague.

I heard of one man who gets into a mood if his lady doesn't orgasm just from giving him a blow job. Some men are dickheads who need a crash course on what works for woman.

The type of men you describe clearly have a very limited understanding of the female body and how it works.
You say he feels bad, but then refuses take up the opportunity to learn how to not make it a repeat offence?! Odd. Very odd.

There is nothing acceptable about selfish or twattish behaviour like that.

It is probably down to lack of knowledge, but any decent bloke would put some effort into improving his knowledge to make the whole experience of sex better for both of them.

Are u sleeping with my ex dh?

It is never acceptable or fair.

I would not put up with it.

I have also made sure I educate my Teen DSs on this for when the time comes. If you have sex with a woman, she has to come. No Exceptions.

Thanks all
Had big falling out over this this weekend I was a bit cross/frustrated with being left high and dry again and ( he was disappointed too tbh) he got really angry and said that I was treating him like sh#t
I pointed out that he has two hands and a mouth !
Now he's sulking and talking about not doing it ever again

If you have sex with a woman, she has to come. No Exceptions.

blimey, sometimes I don't want to come!

Now he's sulking and talking about not doing it ever again

I'm not sure I'd want to have sex with someone who got cross because I didn't make them come.

I have issues around all this.

To answer your question, OP, no, that's not normal and your DP needs to catch himself on. He's acting like a dickhead.

However - the coming issue. I find it a very
sticky wicket. I find it a bit difficult sometimes, and the more DP tries to 'help me along' the more pressure I feel, then it just ain't happening.

So, fitzbilly's idea, however noble, just would not work for me at all.

Sometimes I'm happy to forget the whole destination and just enjoy the journey

Fitzbilly does the woman take any responsibility in this?

What if she doesn't/can't? How long should a man try?

Don't do it again then. Seriously. There is nothing you can do with such a selfish crap lover and his attitude will kill your desire for him.

Now he's sulking and talking about not doing it ever again

I would take him up on that and buy myself a vibrator.

He's a dick. He clearly doesn't realise that it requires a bit more effort that wiggling his magic willy around for a bit.

she has to come. No Exceptions.
Please don't teach your son that. Nothing should ever be that set in stone.
Sex needs to be much more flexible and communicative. She has a say in what she wants.

My DP feels upset sometimes if he doesn't make me orgasm, used to be something that really worried him at the beginning of our relationship.

I'm also the same under pressure...it takes the edge off me orgasming completely.

I see myself just as responsible for my orgasm as he is...sometimes I know he's going to get me there, other times I help myself.

It's a big turn on for him to look down and see me using my hands or a toy on myself while we make love...is it something that would work for you...?

I'm completely with need another glass and disagreeing with fitzbilly

There shouldn't be fixed rules when it comes to sex. There are occasions where I'm not going to get there and occasions where Mrs Eek isn't going to get there, but we've been having terrific sex together for over 25 years, so who's to say either of us are breaking rules? No one. :)

Obviously, we both intend for each other to orgasm, and luckily enough we both do on the vast majority of occasions, but enough of the fixed rules nonsense.

As for OP's slack partner, he really does need to go back to basics, learn that it's a two way street and he absolutely can't let his partner down like this and arguing with her too... thats just crap. You've got to have an out of bedroom chat about this OP. Good luck buddy.

A couple of problems here. First off, sex is meant to be something that brings you closer together. Going in a huff during or after renders the whole act pointless from an emotional perspective.

Second, finishing you off should not be the first tool in his box. Encourage him to work on his foreplay so that by the time it comes to actual intercourse you are already near the tipping point. Assuming that works for you obviously.

Also, bear in mind you do not need to follow a strict regimen of winks/nudges - foreplay - intercourse - cuddles - sleep. You can really mix it up - winks/nudges - foreplay - bit of intercourse - more foreplay - more intercourse - even more foreplay - intercourse - boom goes the dynamite - cuddles - re-hydration - cuddles - unconsciousness.

No different to if a woman doesn't let a man come tbh

The only time this behaviour would be acceptable is if he's paid for sex, and part of the arrangement was that "she orgasms or pretends to even if I'm bloody useless."

I used to know one of those; so disappointing. Very selfish and ignorant to boot.

I think he's taken you not having an orgasm as a reflection on his ability and retreated by accusing you of being horrible to him.

I suggest you log on to lovehoney.com and buy some toys he can use on you or you can use on yourself.

He doesn't sound like he is very interested in you,OP. How can your lack of orgasm be about him, how come he gets to be the one to sulk and be huffy when it was you who did not orgasm? WTAF...