Casual Sex

[SillyHeart]

Name changed from my usual name as my mum knows my username and don't want her reading this.

I split up from my ex DP about 4 months ago, although the love was gone a long time before that.

I was with ex dp for 7 years and have only slept with 3 other men. I have one ds but he goes to exdp's every weekend so I'm free all weekend (although I'm still living at my parents until I get my own place)

Anyway, I'm horny I have never gone this long without sex. I have no interest in getting into a serious relationship. I want to be by myself and concentrate on me and ds. However, I have needs. I have met someone at work and we have been on one date. I have mentioned a few times that I'm not looking for anything long term. He is really nice and we get on great. My question is how does it work? I have never had casual sex. Will it be awkward? Do we have to talk about exactly what we want out of it? Has anyone else had a casual relationship? I think I need someone to kind of say 'Ye it's ok to have sex with someone',
Which I know sounds ridiculous as I am a grown woman. I have spoken to one friend who says to go for it.

Any advice?

IMO causal sex is fine, if two consenting adults want sex then nothing wrong with it at all.

Before I met my DH I had a couple of casual relationships/hook ups they would come over or I would go to them for sex. I never found it awkward. Just say you don't want anything serious/long term I'm sure he'll get your understanding.

I'm sure you don't need telling but make sure your strict with contraception, Have condoms with you. You don't know him well so be careful.

Go for it

Of course casual sex is fine. I always enjoyed it when I was single. As long as both people are honest and clear about what they want it's alright.

Personally I would maybe think twice about doing it with someone I worked closely with and couldn't avoid if it did get awkward (such has him deciding he does want more and you really not). I am pretty strict about not sleeping with people I work with, but I know others that aren't, so that might just be me.

Casual sex is fine. Make sure it's safe and set out your intentions about it being casual in advance to avoid things getting complicated though.

The only thing that would concern me is if it's a work colleague. Think carefully about entering into a Friends With Benefits situation with someone you work with. It could get complicated. Why not try an online dating site like Plenty of Fish or even Tindr? Not shortage of men there looking for casual hook ups.

Thanks everyone for your replies, really appreciate a balance view as right now my need for sex is getting in the way

You're right about the workplace thing, we work in a small office and even though I don't work with him directly, it would be really hard to avoid him if it all went wrong.

I've never really thought about online dating but I think I might have a look. I just need to keep telling myself there's nothing wrong/shameful in liking sex and having sex with someone if I feel like it.

I'll enjoy a flirt with my colleague but think I'll put a stop to it going any further. Our date was really good so it's just nice to dip my toe back into the water.

Ah well, looks like it's back to the vibrator drawing board

Surely if your mother reads this thread you have given away so many specifics that she'll know you're gagging for it?

Anyway, nothing wrong with casual as others have said. The key is not to get caught up in the emotional side of it. Which can be hard.

Don't dip your pen in the office ink...
Always seems like a good idea,
It ain't when it goes tits up & you have to face someone every single day.

That's what sites like tinder / plenty of fish are for !!!

If you want to keep it casual keep it away from work / your personal life & that way you can ditch / move on / carry on with your life in the easiest way with no upsets !

Put sex in a box, it's on box.. Locked away where it can't interfere with home or work - to be opened by you, when you want & closed again when you want !

I've always wondered about the casual Sex thing - do you meet up, food, drink, be sensual and kiss and cuddle, chat etc?

Or is it purely physical, just shagging then a sporting punch on the arm and a 'see ya!'

Genuine question from a naive woman

It's entirely up to you to define.

Most of my FWB trysts have been dinner & a shag, sleep over and away in the morning. Others are simply a 'u up?' Text, they come over DTD then head off afterwards.

Just bear in mind that most hookups last 6 meetings or so. Don't get emotionally invested, and know what they're there for.