help me talk about sex with my partner

[privateandconfidential]

Hi

I have another thread on here about whether I am being needy and I'm starting a fresh new thread in the hope someone can help me get over my fear if talking about sex.

I am left feeling frustrated with my bf and need to discuss this with him. But the very thought of having this conversation makes me feel anxious (my LT ex withheld sex and made me feel like a stupid sex beast whenever I brought it up. Like I was a naughty child) .

I'm trying to work out whether my partner is selfish in bed or its just because I've never told him what I like in bed and I've never complained about our sex life. We've been together 7 months.

Would it be a terrible idea to text him instead of over the phone or face to face? My anxiety is through the roof thinking about speaking out loud about it.

And what exactly do I say to him? I don't want to accuse him of being lazy in bed. I want to work out why I hardly ever climax with him. It could be that he's selfish but it could be that he just isn't aware that I'm left unsatisfied.

I hope I've made sense and not rambled too much. Don't have time to re read the post so apologies for any typos / stuff not making sense.

Please help.

Thanks finally.

Thanks all

Flirty text during the day, doesn't have to be 'rude', just a bit suggestive, something to look forward to later?

Good idea thank you. I think I know what I'll text him

Could be more flirty rather than sexy if that makes sense - and if that's more comfortable for you.

Just something along the lines of 'looking forward to seeing you tonight, what do you fancy for dinner?'. Then he knows that you're thinking about him, which makes him think about you.

It doesn't have to end up with you dressing up like a 50s housewife with welcome tattooed on your back, but starts a short conversation that could be about going out vs staying in, and if staying in, either having a nice meal and a talk during it - without too much alcohol - or legging it up the stairs with some fresh oysters and a small bottle of fizz - or chocolate mint liqueur and chocolate body paint....

......have some very fond memories of chocolate mint liqueur from when it was a staple in off licences

These days, chocolate body paint seems a bit naff - unless you make your own..........

You need to let him know what you like next time you're having sex so you can steer him in the right direction. Make sure you moan and groan when he does something you like so he gets feedback and knows to continue. Praise is also important - tell him you like it. You might also want to consider talking dirty or asking him to do something - men love all that! Communication is key. Be a bit selfish about it if you have to. Just make sure he gives you what you want.

Can you not give him a demo of what makes you climax?

Sorry I haven't been back for a while.

I spoke to him about it (via text) and things have been great since . Satisfied every time, sometimes more than once. Still trying for the illusive full sex climax but we're trying and we're on a bit of a mission hehe

Thanks everyone

Glad it all had an err happy ending (or many by the sounds of it )