Loss of sensation in boobs after pregnancy and breastfeeding

[Penguin13]

Has anyone else experienced this? Prior to pregnancy with DD I used to have super sensitive breasts and having attention paid to them formed a huge part of me reaching orgasm. I breastfed DD for just over a year and in that time my breasts have been less of a focus. I found it a bit weird and there was that memorable time when I became a human twin jet fountain as we reached the crucial moment . Not super away although thankfully we did manage to laugh about it. Now that I have stopped bfing I was really looking forward to having my boobs 'back' iykwim but either I can't stand to have DH touch them or I can't feel anything. I'm not sure it it's a psychological thing as I have a sensory memory of my baby latching on whereas before my boobs were uncomplicatedly sexual but I really miss this aspect of our sex lives. Doesn't help that I lost some weight as a result of bf so also lost some fullness they were pretty small anyway but I had grown to love them after some difficult teenage yearsand as a result feel unattractive and unsexy even though DH tries to reassure me. I even tried playing with them myself to see if I could relax and let go but felt very little. Has anyone else been through similar? Any advice?

When I say my boobs were less of a focus I obviously mean during sex We weren't sitting around discussing them over the breakfast table. And I meant 'not super sexy'.

Bump.

Hey, pen. Thankfully, this did not happen to me after having DC. Do you think a lot of it could be psychological?

Maybe leave a bit more time before trying again & if it still happens, maybe get some advice. Really hope you get it sorted, op.

Thanks for replying lollipops. I do wonder if it's partially psychological. I have generally struggled with sex a bit since DD was born, I generally enjoy it once we're into it but she hasn't been a great sleeper from the work go and even now at 15 months she wakes at least once a night. Being tired all the time doesn't make me feel all that sexy. I wonder if the boobs thing is part of that. I tend to find that realising I am feeling turned on turns me on even more but the flipside of that is worrying about not being turned on is like a bucket of cold water as far as sex is concerned. DH is very very understanding and would never put me under pressure but I put myself under it as I don't want the sex to go out of our marriage completely. I want to want to do it. I think one thing that is stopping me just experimenting with what feels good is the mental pressure that if I start something sexual I feel like I will be teasing DH to not follow it through. That level of pressure leaves me totally cold though. The hottest sex we have had was when DH almost acted disinterested at first which meant there was no libido killing pressure. I have just had my contraceptive implant removed, not because of my libido but I am hoping that a nice side effect will be my desire improving as it does seem to dampen down my desire which wasn't exactly raging to begin with

Sorry that was a bit of a garbled stream of consciousness Reading it back I can see that there is a wider issue than just what I like in bed physically changing. I think I need to have a talk with DH about this but not sure how to start.

Oh god I feel exactly like this. You've described it perfectly. The pressure to be turned on and have sex actually being a turn off... The feeling you can't even ease yourself back into being intimate as the slightest intimate touch is going to get DH horny and therefore disappointed if you can't go all the way...

I've mostly lost my libido. I'd be happy doing it once a month to be honest...

And yes, the boobs, the thought of DH touching my boobs sexually makes me cringe ever since having DS It shouldn't even matter, but for some reason it does.

The feeling you can't even ease yourself back into being intimate as the slightest intimate touch is going to get DH horny and therefore disappointed if you can't go all the way.

I had my ds 8 weeks ago and am bf-ing. Couldn't have put it better myself. I have no desire to have sex, partly from lost libido, partly from fear of anyone going 'down there' (I had a tentative go myself, but then it hurt to wee for.a week after). But how do you talk about it with DH? I have tried so many times to be really honest and to tell him how sorry I am that I'm so reticent. At the time he says he understands, that he wouldn't find it a turn on if I wasn't into it, but then we cant even kiss or just lie on the sofa without him trying to take it further. Like you say, I just feel like I disappoint him. We were in bed this morning playing with ds, kissing, and generally just spending time together. After about an hour, I got up to do ds nappy, make breakfast, run a bath etc before ds would want feeding again. And DH just turned and said "oh, I could have spent that time getting on with things". I feel like any time we spend together he doesn't actually enjoy. He just holds out hope that it might lead somewhere.

Sorry, this doesn't help you at all Just wondering how else to talk to DH...

Totally get it op. However as a word.of encouragement, feeling and enjoyment returned... But it's taken 4yrs! Still enjoyed it through that time but had to discipline myself almost. It's not easy is it?! Now though, more sensitive boobs than ever!

Yes as above, lost a lot of the pleasure sensation in my breasts and nipples after breastfeeding but in the last year or so it's returned DS is nearly 6yo.

So sorry I started this thread then rudely abandoned it! I actually wrote a long reply but stupid phone ate it and I didn't have the energy to retype it all!

Choc you are still physically recovering from the birth never mind the emotional upheaval of having a baby! It is so understandable that you are not raring to go in the bedroom!! I am all too familiar with the saying all the right things but subtly trying it on. Somehow in DH's mind 'let's have a nap whilst DD is sleeping' translated to 'let's get it on'. There were times when we were laying there cuddling and he'd make advances I was so bloody bone tired I could have cheerfully throttled him. Please please be gentle with yourself.

Am trying something new tonight. Don't laugh at how tragic I have now become but I read in a book about basically how to get your libido back that a bit of exercise can help get blood flowing to the ahem appropriate areas and increase arousal. I am dancing around my bedroom in the hope that it works! Worth a try anyway

Cadenza and Sinister thank you so much for taking the time to post. That is music to my ears apart from the timescale! So glad you both got your feeling back.

Thank you for kind words Penguin! How did the dancing go for you?! Well, I thought we'd made substantial progress this am, until ds decided he couldn't possibly stay asleep longer than 15 mins! Don't know if incomplete action was better or worse for dh than the drought!!