strange libido situation

[Jemappelle]

I've name changed for this
. So DH and I have our first baby 5 months old and both very early 30s

We've been together 3 years married 1.5. Ever since I met him he had a very low sex drive. Mine - after having spent my 20s getting zillions of degrees and being absolutely sex starved was sky high

We went through tears sadness relate and other sex therapy to try to balance this out, it didn't really, he had blood tests and was about to try out the testisterone patch when I got pregnant

Well well. And then - my libido vanished. And it's pretty much gone now for 14 months.

But as I can feel it coming back only flickers of it if that and we haven't had sex since getting pregnant we both feel really awkward now. We have no clue where we stand regarding libidos and while he would make a move I've said so many times how that the whole idea of being sexual with him freaks me it that he is obviously worried he may annoy me.

So here we are. We love our life of tons of cuddling spooning kissing long cuddles in bed lots of laughing banter - we love each other loads but this Sex thing is just like an elephant in the room

I guess, past histories of libido mismatch notwithstanding - right now I feel really awkward even thinking of being sexual with him almost like its wrong. And he can't figure out what he could do.

We could go on this way - sexless and happy. But I suppose I want to want Sex or at least not feel it really awkward that I could have sexual interactions with my DH. It feels rate welt awkward almost like its wrong!

Help!

Have you actually spoken to him about it?

I don't think you can go on forever as you are - it will eventually break you. For most people sexis a really important part of being married, otherwise you're just housemates/co parents. One day that will no longer be enough to keep you happy.

My advice would be to make a move and see how it feels. Don't go in all 50 shades of grey - just a nice back massage and slightly more sexy nightie should be enough to get things started.

It's not easy getting your sex drive back with a 5mo. Many people take a month or two longer, don't pressure yourself.

You have actually said to him apparently many times that the thought of having sex with him freaks you out, so it's not surprising he has backed off.

You need to start undoing those words, and start saying things like "We're such a good team since we had our baby, and I really feel more like my old self again now" (or whatever!) and tell him how you feel with your body language too.
and make it clear you feel your libido coming back, you clearly love each other, you can get it back.