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6 replies

Minor1000 · 28/03/2016 10:59

Apologies if TMI

My Wife and I used to have a fairly active sex life until about 5 years ago. No DC or excuses just overwork, she's a teacher and works every night and all weekend and the best known contraceptive known to man - a Kindle in the bedroom. We have tried to make love once or twice a year at best. Last occasion was on holiday in November. We have discussed it but owing to my Wife's vaginal dryness (51) PIV hasn't been possible. She has been to the Drs and been prescribed hormones that are inserted. This treatment has been going on for some months but has had little positive effect.

We tried again last nght but PIV wasn't possible even with lube, oh and Himself decided his services weren't required and wouldn't co-operate even after a lot of foreplay. A lot of frustration and a few tears. I don't normally have a problem in that department so no blue pills needed although I a also 50.

Is there anything we can try to ease things along? I wandered whether a vibrator or something similar might help - practice and all that. Not sure I fancy being spotted in our local branch of Ann Sumers - we live in a small community and people rarely get away with anything without being spotted. My Wife is talking of loading her Kindle with erotic reading. The main issue appears to be lubrication and opening places up. ahem. Could not insert more than a single finger last night never mind anything else. The one thing I don't want to do is to hurt or embarrass my wife. We just want a sex life back rather than living like housemates. We are very close and quite affectionate otherwise holding hands in public etc.

Any advise gratefully received by us both.

OP posts:
HandbagCrazy · 28/03/2016 11:12

Firstly, talk talk talk. Make sure that you're not trying to just find the solution, because if you present her with a plan she wasn't included in, it will add pressure and show that you're putting your needs above hers.

Secondly, if she's happy to try and experiment a little, shop together online. Try love honey, they deliver, the packaging is discreet and the selection is great.

Also, does your wife pleasure herself alone? If not, it may be something to suggest - if she can spend the time alone, relaxed with no pressure, she may be able to learn to understand what she needs / wants better

bunnywabbit12 · 28/03/2016 11:31

Yes Love Honey is very good. And very good non-smutty straight forward videos about the products if you're looking for advice on how to use them. Plain packaging when posted

I can imagine it's quite awkward to initiate sex after so long for you both.

Would you consider do a sex course with Relate? Apparently they're very good

LogicalThinking · 28/03/2016 13:46

I would take the focus off PIV completely. Agree that it is completely off the menu for the foreseeable future. Take the pressure off both of you.
Work on pleasure, what feels good, touch, kissing, getting naked together.
Lovehoney are fabulous. Get some lube to make things more comfortable, maybe a toy if she is interested - a bullet would be a good starting one.
If you forget PIV for the time being, you will not have any 'failed' attempts to worry about, you will just be having a bit of fun together.

Minor1000 · 30/03/2016 14:01

Hi guys. Thank you for the replies. Repressed ex public all male school boy here with no idea.

There's no chance of me forcing my DW - I keep her on a pedastal, Polish her halo daily and generally worship the ground she walks upon.

Love honey made me blush and I am trying to pluck up enough courage to discuss placing an order. Neither of us have any experience at all in that sort of thing.

We are talking and are both as keen as mustard and there is no pressure from either of us. I think the main issue now we've decided to get back to a healthy and regular sex life is ahem refreshing the witness's memory and reminding the lady parts of the fun things in life.

Enjoying the practice so far and the anticipation especially after this morning. There's lots of sitting on laps or kitchen surfaces with legs wrapped round the OH so think we're on the right track.

Need to keep practicing obviously!

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 31/03/2016 20:01

Please don't place a LH order without discussing it first as I think your DW might find that quite upsetting.

Has she been back to the GP since the hormone prescription - is a check up due at any point? If there isn't any improvement, can she be prescribed something different, or would a gynae referral be indicated perhaps?

Can you take PIV off the menu for now, as Logical suggested, and just focus on non-penetrative sex? If you've been used to always having PIV as the "main course", this might take a few sessions before you get used to it, but it should take the pressure off DW considerably.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 02/04/2016 15:08

Agree with all the advice. Sounds like you are on track with the intimacy...

How about offering to draw a bath and perhaps giving a nice slow massage afterwards?

Even if there is nothing sexual it's still a nice close intimate experience.

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