I've answered a NSA advert

[Headintheheadagain]

I am in a sexless marriage and it has been the same for years. My husband has moved to the spare room and to be honest the thought of him touching me again makes m cringe. We are just bringing up children together. I have told him we are finished but he won't accept it.

I have had no sex in two years and until a few months ago didn't really miss it. But now bam my sex life is back. I have tried masturbation and have spent a small fortune on sex toys but it's not doing it. I need to be with something. In a moment of madness today I answered an add on craigslist. To my surprise he sounds lovely and just as nervous as me. Has anyone met anyone on there? He's going to be a serial killer isn't he?!

I have name changed for this sorry

If your marriage really is over maybe you should address that first before seeking someone else. Look into moving out separation/ divorce

As for meeting someone online for sex ( presumably) that's not a great idea - of course he sounds lovely he wants sex. just be ultra careful

Please do be careful and don't do anything rash. I can understand your frustration but from a purely practical standpoint, you need to think through the potential consequences because you could be putting yourself in harms way here. Talking with a therapist would be a good idea not to fix your marriage if its unfixable but to help you decide what's best for you.

FWIW if you do pursue this. I looked on Craigslist (London) once and it seemed to be full of oddballs. Check out the dating thread on the Relationshops page here for advice about safe and sane on line dating.all the mainstream on line dating sites have plenty of men looking for NSA

Yeah Craiglist is pretty sketchy because there's no ID verification. When I've gone for hookups I've used paid sites because at least then the majority will have had to give their real name and address to match their credit card info!

Practically speaking, follow the usual dating safety rules: check him out beforehand, tell a trusted friend where you're going, ask them to give you a safety call after an hour or so to make sure you're okay. Book a hotel room - don't ever go to an unknown's house/flat. Meet for a drink in the hotel car, if all goes well then text your buddy "he's kosher, we're going for a shag, text or call you in 2hrs".

Regards the state of your marriage: you've told your H if you can't fix things sexually you're going to discreetly go elsewhere, right? I mean do what you need to do to stay sane, but bear in mind you're teaching your DC that marriages are passionless.

Sorry I haven't replied before. It was a completely spur of the moment decision to answer the advert. The end of my marriage is going to involve my h leaving kicking and screaming because I have told him i am done and I can't do this anymore. We sleep in spare rooms but he has said he won't go. It is a shit example to my kids. I know that.

This bloke who I messaged was not what I was expected. We have exchanged more than 100 messages in the last two days. Mostly about our lives and marriages. I have no idea if we will even meet.

You say your OH won't leave? What's stopping you going?
But that's beside the point.

I thought people used Tinder for hook ups now?

Well to put it bluntly, op. You're a hot blooded woman who enjoys a shag now and again. That certainly doesn't make you the devil. If you're not getting it from your partner, I suppose it's understandable, that you're going to look elsewhere in the end.
And just so I people know. I'm not a one rule for men, and another for women. I would post the same reply if you were a man.

We have exchanged more than 100 messages in the last two days.

This sounds like a car crash in the making. NSA hookups are supposed to be relatively emotionless. You are asking to have a bomb thrown into your life and the other bloke's marriage if you carry on with this.

That is not my definition of a "no strings hook up"