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Sleep orgasms

11 replies

Owlbefine · 18/02/2016 17:22

I have name changed for this one.

Why is it that I have full on sleep orgasms (about once a month but more if I'm not getting enough) but I have only ever once had a PIV G-spot orgasm? (And that was about 15 years ago!!)

Surely sleep orgasms are controlled 100% by the brain, which suggests I have a psychological problem with having orgasms whilst awake - but only if my partner (which has been my DH for the last 11 years) is trying to make me come. I am pretty good at doing it myself, solo or in sex, but completely rubbish at having an orgasm if he is trying to make me come. How do I relax my brain in sex, to the point that I get to whilst asleep and have a normal orgasm whilst awake? And if we're doing oral, I get to the point that it's almost 'too much' and have to move onto PIV but I can't just tip over the edge. I'm considering seeing a sex therapist - can I really hit my 40s without this improving?

OP posts:
Funclesmuck · 18/02/2016 20:29

OMG, this is just too weird, have never been over to the sex topic, but came over to start a thread about having my first ever sleep orgasm early this morning! I struggle to have a full blown orgasm during actual sex but this was mind blowing. Sorry no help OP but wanted to share. I too struggle with the "tipping over the edge" in real life. I wonder if this is a thing??

MeganChips · 18/02/2016 20:34

I get these quite often, they are always fabulous!

I too struggle during PIV sex but can have them by other means quite easily. I can do it with PIV but only usually after I have already orgasmed. It's far easier 2nd time.

LogicalThinking · 18/02/2016 21:26

I don't have sleep orgasms but I do have spontaneous orgasms. They come from nowhere - not from any thoughts about sex. They build and are over in 10 seconds. They feel great and I don't understand them at all.
I don't have PIV orgasms either. I don't think they are completely psychological, I think they must be more physiological. It's almost like my body needs to orgasm, but that isn't sexual desire related.
Very odd but has never bothered me.

flanjabelle · 19/02/2016 20:38


toffeeboffin · 19/02/2016 20:40

I had one the other night.

Woke up in a right state.

And the dream wasn't even that good! Hmm

The whole thing was very cervical : does that mean anything special? Confused

toffeeboffin · 19/02/2016 20:43

Sorry OP just realised I didn't really answer your question.

I don't know. Maybe less clitoral, more g spot simulation? is the g spot even still a thing these days?

LBOCS2 · 19/02/2016 22:48

I have sleep orgasms, probably once every 6 weeks or so. I have no idea why, and they do seem to be less 'friction' based for want of a better description.

But then I also have plenty of orgasms during my usual sex life. So I don't think it's because of a lack elsewhere. They started maybe 5 years ago, in my mid twenties?

TeaT1me · 19/02/2016 22:51

I've never had sleep orgasms but I thought not being able to come through PIV was more common than being able to ?

I certainly dont but more through his fingering after foreplay/whatever then I enjoy him being PIV but I dont expect to come from it. I may get rearoused etc.

I wonder if youre putting too much presure on yourself to come from PIV?

EBearhug · 19/02/2016 22:55

I sort of resent my subconscious having a better sexlife than I do.

I suspect that worrying about not being able to come in a particular way is one of the quickest ways to reduce the chances of it happening that way.

LBOCS2 · 19/02/2016 23:01

Yeah, I'm sure that PIV is one of the least effective ways of having an orgasm.

Allofaflumble · 20/02/2016 09:30

I have had these sleep orgasms but I find them a bit painful as they seem to come out of nowhere so there's been no build up to it. Definitely not as good as the awake ones! I Dont PIVO in real life.

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