New partner, his vision - My body, reality...

[backonthebikeagain]

Ive been seeing a great guy for a while and we are yet to have sex. Its getting to the point where it is going to happen but Im terrified Im going to disappoint him.

Ive had children and lost a lot of weight. Do I tell him before that my body isnt what he is expecting? I have a baby doll thing ready so that Im not completely naked. I have so many stretch marks and loose skin that even in the hottest summer I wear long sleeves and legs.

What should I do?

I have lots of male friends and have spoken to them about how they feel about stretch marks, lumps and bumps etc and every single one of them said they never notice and the only thing that ever goes through their mind is "I am so lucky, I am going to have sex". His body won't be perfect, just relax, enjoy yourself and don't take it too seriously - have fun. !

Real (straight) men love real women - lumps, bumps, stretch marks included.
Please don't stress - sex is supposed to be fun and relaxing.

This might make you smile OP

www.theonion.com/article/increasing-number-of-men-pressured-to-accept-reali-35685?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview%3ANA%3AInFocus

Backon what you should do is just enjoy it. I completely understand and was in similar position 19 months ago but DP isn't interested in that. Says it makes us real women and mothers. I had stretch marks at 17 anyway although never very big, so I've never been any different. Wear baby doll if it helps. I sometimes do if feeling vulnerable. But he usually just takes it off! Sure your DP will be the same. Have a great time

I used to feel like this. After separating from my husband of 16 years and 4 DCs I met a lovely man. He's quite fit as he has to be for his job and I was really worried. For months I kept a vest on in bed, ran into the bathroom etc but I gradually realised he didn't give a stuff. In fact he loved all of me - wobbly bits, stretch marks and all. 3 1/2 years later I'm 27 weeks pregnant and I walk around naked and I don't care! He looks at me like I'm perfect. It's wonderful.

Ah, thank you all :) I just need to get over the first time and I will probably be ok. I just think he thinks I will look very different to what I do.

If a guy has a hard on he ain't looking at ya stretch marks

That is a great way to think of it Guilty :)

I'm so glad I've read this thread, I'm having a very similar experience OP. With other partners (mainly casual) it hasn't seemed to matter and not one man has ever appeared turned off. But this seems different somehow, like I really actually care what he thinks. My new partner and I will probably be intimate this weekend for the first time and I'm going to try to remain confident. Thanks OP for this thread, I am sure we will both be fine.

Speaking as a male, who's no longer a teenager, I think it's safe to say that most grown up males are actually aware that their partners bodies might not be totally 100% perfect and flawless because you know, real life.... :)

So OP, chill, have fun, relax and be yourself. Good luck.

Thank you! Im defo feeling a bit more relaxed about the whole thing. Just need to remember what to do now ;)

backonthebike I completely get how you feel - I started a similar thread a few weeks ago. I was so worried - an old, have 4dc - definitely not body beautiful but I looked passable in clothes. Certainly better than out of them and I convinced myself he probably thought he was going to be getting something a lot better than he actually was!

Reality is, as others said, he has been nothing but complimentary and of course has his own issues. We are real people who've lived real lives, not airbrushed perfect examples. If your partner is worth his salt he will be appreciating you for who you are not how you look.

Of course, all this is easy to say and I know you're bound to still be nervous but please try to enjoy it. I'd be lying if I said I was totally confident now but I am a bit more of the "fuck it, I am what I am" mindset and I hope you will be too. Someone posted on my thread something like "Get out of my bed - said no man ever" and those words made an impact on me.

Best of luck and I hope you really enjoy it!

Thanks all, I needn't have worried! All was great and I feel so much more confident and happy with my body now.

A big thank you everyone who posted on here :)

Great update! glad all went well and hope you'll be getting lots more affirmation in the near future!

Just found this thread - great update! I'm in a similar situation and am having huge panic about the thought of getting naked with someone. This has really helped :)

I wear a baby doll thing and have perfected the lighting!! Honestly, dont worry :)

I have a selection of comfy stretchy sexy lace trimmed vests that I wear to cover my tummy. I can easily pull them down or up if needed, but when I'm in a vulnerable position I feel a lot more confident just having something on.

And yes good lighting. I put up some candle sconces either side of the bed. We know if one of us lights the candles it's a good sign! The small lamp is a maybe and if it's the bright light then it's not even worth having a shower